The Fomorroh's Poison
by Pongo0614
Summary: What happens if the Fomorroh had side effects that Gaius didn't know of? What if it had a poison which reacts to magic, powerful magic? What happens if they never leave their master, or in Merlin case mistress? Dark!Merlin
1. Mistress

_Hey I am back with a new story._

_You guys are lucky because this will be update twice a week because I want to finish it before May so I am not leaving you hanging for two months due to exams. So this will be update every Monday and Friday. Hopefully._

_All the chapters are incredible short and there is little I can do to extend them. I have tried. :( Sorry about that._

_I hope that you enjoy the story line. Yes I have changed series 4 again._

_Hope you like this._

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><p><strong>Mistress<strong>

He woke up suddenly.

Looking around the place he had no idea where he was but he could feel something calling him.

He quickly changed and left the room and the castle.

_What am I doing in a castle? _The man questioned himself.

He dashed through the forest.

Little did he know that he was running away from the place that he lived, the people he loves and wants to protect.

He doesn't know much, for sure he doesn't even know or remember his name. He couldn't remember anything.

All he needs to know is he has to answer his calling, he has to get to her, his mistress.

He feels the bond between them get stronger and stronger.

He stops outside of a hovel. He doesn't know what to make of it but he knows that he must tell her.

He hears that there are people inside and doesn't know whether to knock or not.

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><p>Inside the hovel, a woman and man were planning there next attack on the city, the city she so desperately wanted to become queen of.<p>

They had tried so many times and yet failed.

They had no idea that the faithful servant of Camelot was outside the door until he pushed the door wide open.

Both the people looked up.

The woman was as scared as anything to see the man there.

He walked past the older man, not acknowledging that he was there. He was just another person between him and his mistress.

He fell to his knees in front of the woman.

"Mistress, I'm here to serve you and only you. I have felt you calling and I couldn't resist. I am yours to do at your will." The man had his head bowed before her in respect.

The women looked over to her accomplice, unknowing what to say.

After a while in silence, the woman finally spoke.

"Merlin, what is the meaning of this... this nonsense?"

Merlin raised his head. _So my name is Merlin. That could be useful._

"What nonsense mistress?" Merlin was confused by what she said.

"The whole mistress nonsense. Go home Merlin." The woman looked up at the older man. "He didn't bring Arthur, did he?"

The older man left the hovel to return a few minutes later.

"Morgana there is no need to worry. No one followed him."

_So my mistress is called Morgana._

"GO HOME Merlin!"

Merlin looked back up to see his mistress all hot and flustered.

He didn't realise that he had been there for much longer than she wanted him or that she wanted him at all.

"Yes mistress." Merlin said with a sad smile and walked out of the door that he had not too long ago burst his way through. "Sorry mistress."

* * *

><p>Morgana turned to Agravaine and sighed.<p>

"What if he had?"

Agravaine turned to her. "But he didn't milady."

"But why is he calling me his mistress?"

Agravaine shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. The Forromah?"

"No the Forromah's control left him when Emrys destroyed it."

Agravaine could tell Morgana's temper was rising.

"I will watch him. Shall I tell him from you that he should go on his daily duties? You don't want to make Arthur suspicious now do we?"

Morgana sighed again, allowing some of the tension to leave her. "Yes, now leave. I think we are done for one day."

Morgana wished to dismiss him as quickly as possible. Agravaine always managed to make her shiver and the looks he gave her also made her want to slam him into a wall with her magic.

"Milady." Agravaine said and bowed as he too left her.

Morgana thought over it. "It couldn't be the Forromah, could it?"

Morgana went to the shelf and picked up one of Morgause's old books, ones that she had left to Morgana after she died.

Morgana knew it was going to be a long night trying to find out what had happened to Merlin but she wanted to know.

_Do I now have power over him? If I do, I could use it to my advantage._

Morgana smirked to herself before starting to read the book.

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><p>Merlin knew he should be getting back to his 'home', but he couldn't remember the way that he had ran.<p>

Merlin sat helpless on a log.

She had rejected him. All had had done was pledge his elegance to her.

Merlin was trying to hold back the tears.

_Who was he? Where did he live? Where did he come from? Who are his friends? Who are his foes? What was he meant to do now?_

Merlin looked up at the sound of hooves.

The older man with Morgana was sitting in front of him, high up on his horse.

"Morgana wishes you to go about your daily duties as normal."

Agravaine was about to kick his heals in when Merlin stopped him.

"What are my daily duties?"

Agravaine sighed. _Had he forgotten everything?_

"Go back to Camelot and I will tell you everything in my chambers."

Merlin looked up at the man.

Agravaine rolled his eyes. "Follow me."

It wasn't in Agravaine nature to be kind but Agravaine saw something that could break Arthur and maybe bring him closer to Morgana.

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><p>Morgana hadn't been reading long before she found a side effect of the Forromah that she didn't know of.<p>

Written in her sister's hand was _'If used on a magical being, a powerful magical being, that person becomes your slave. Even thought it only works on powerful beings, there will be a conflict within themselves to whether they are right for their master or mistress. Once they have pledge some sort of elegance, they are yours until death. This information is only meant for High Priests and Priestesses of the Old Religion.'_

Morgana was shocked but Merlin wasn't a powerful magical being.

Morgana sat and puzzled over the information she just read.

_Did anybody else know about this? Did Merlin pledge an elegance to her? Is he hers now?_

Morgana believed that she would look over this in the morning. She was tried and exhausted after her run in with Emrys.

He was powerful, but Merlin could never be Emrys. He would have told her if he had magic. He wouldn't have left her on her own, he knew how scared she was of herself and Uther. He wouldn't have poisoned one of his own. He just wasn't that type of person.

Anyway she had begged him to help her, why would he not tell her?

But the way that he helped him was suspicious. He wasn't frightened of her, well not like she was of herself. However she put it down to his friend, Will, In Ealdor. He had magic. Merlin knew of it. He wasn't scared of her because he knew that magic could be used for good.

Morgana put down the book and placed her head in her hands.

The mystery of this all was too much at the moment.

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><p>Agravaine led Merlin to his chambers.<p>

"What do you remember?"

Merlin looked up at him. "Nothing other than ..." Agravaine placed his hand over Merlin's mouth.

"Not out here." He said stopping outside of his chambers. "In there now."

Merlin walked into the chambers and Agravaine sighed. He knew that the boy was going to be the death of him.

"Merlin." He said entering the chambers. "You are the manservant to the King."

Merlin nodded. "Okay."

Agravaine sighed again. "You have to serve him and do as he says."

"Why? I have my mistress. Why should I take orders from someone else?"

Agravaine poured himself a goblet of wine. "Because the King believes that he is your master."

Merlin took a step forward. "Well he is wrong."

Agravaine turned to him. "Just get him is breakfast in the morning and do as he tells you. That is what your mistress has ordered you to do."

Merlin took a couple of steps back.

"Now go to bed Merlin."

Merlin nodded and left.

_What has happened to you? I don't know whether I like you being on the same side as me or against me. At least you won't be whispering in my nephew's ear now._

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><p>Merlin lied down on his bed.<p>

He had little Idea why his mistress was so annoyed at him and it upset him.

He wanted to be by her side, to help her, to protect her. But how could he do that when she had cast him away like that.

She was scared and Merlin wished he knew why.

Arthur. Who was Arthur?

Who was his so called master? The King?

The King of Where?

Where was he?

Thinking of all these questions, Merlin fell asleep, tried from his run.

Tomorrow was going to be a weird day.


	2. Conflict

_This is kinda inspired by the Doctor Who episode, Nightmare in Silver.  
><em>

_You will understand when you read it._

_I am so sorry this is so short but all of the chapters like this are. I just cannot extend them somehow._

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><p><strong>Conflict<strong>

Merlin woke up.

He remembered falling asleep but he had no idea where he was now.

He looked around and took in his surroundings.

He seemed to be in a forest. He couldn't really tell where he was because of the thick fog at covered the place.

"HELLO!" Merlin decided to scream in to the unknown.

His voice echoed around him.

_Where the hell am I?_

Merlin started to walk, hoping he would find something or someone. Or just a clue to where he is

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><p>After about half an hour of walk Merlin hadn't found anything. It may have been longer or even shorter, Merlin had no idea where he was and he was certain that at he was going round in circles. The fog was still as thick as it was when he woke up.<p>

_Where was he? Could he get out? Where was everyone?_

An evil laugh brought Merlin out of his thoughts.

"HELLO! ANYONE THERE?" Merlin shouted into the fog, hoping this time someone would answer him.

He was surprised when his self walked into the area, smirking like Morgana would.

Merlin didn't move. How could he be seeing himself/

"You seem confused." The other Merlin said.

"Who are you?" Merlin breathed.

The other Merlin cocked his head to the side. "Why I am you, just a better and stronger version. See, Gaius doesn't know everything as you may believe, there is a hidden knowledge to the Forromah. You are Emrys, the most powerful being to ever exist. The Forromah has taken that and has made you into something wonderful. Poor little Arthur won't know what has hit him as you are now under the Forromah's control and Morgana's."

Merlin couldn't help but open and close his mouth like a fish. _Morgana had control over me._

"At the moment you cannot remember a thing but I will keep control of you."

"How?" Merlin asked.

The evil Merlin laughed. "Poor native Merlin. You know nothing do you?"

Merlin tried not to react. "Well you have made this forest, haven't you?" Merlin started to loss confidence.

"No, you made it. It's put us both in a place where the shell felts safest. I would have thought it would have been Camelot but shows that you belong with Morgana more. You feel safer in a forest."

Merlin did always feel safer in the forest than at Camelot. Even now with Arthur as king, he still doesn't feel safe because of his magic.

"I can feel the magic around me, yet I cannot see it. I see the forest come alive, yet no one notices." Merlin said.

"But if one person was to notice, oh what a show they would see. Yet the show will only be for those who accept it." The evil one finished off. "Why say the rhyme that Hunith told us?"

"Because that is me." Merlin said. "I am magic. I can see the forest come alive and that's why I feel safer there."

"Oh but Merlin you will never be safe. Not now."

Merlin's eyes followed the evil one round.

"You know, you shouldn't have told Morgause what the poison was. This would have never happened. But it has and now the darkness will descend over you. You have scummed to it many times before but now you will not escape it."

Merlin pushed his hand out, trying to force the other him backwards, trying to take back control.

The other Merlin just brushed off the spell. "My, my Emrys you are weak. That's why the darkness will always win."

Merlin ducked as the other one threw a spell at him.

"I WILL GET BACK CONTROL. I WILL NOT LET MORGANA TAKE OVER MY LIFE." Merlin couldn't help the anger rising in him. _Maybe because I am not in control any more._

"Keep calm now Emrys. As I said, You don't remember a thing. We both have the same memories, the question is which one of us will be the one to remind the body of them?"

The other Merlin then bolted to his left.

Merlin was slow to start off and took off in the same direction as the other him had gone in.

* * *

><p>After following the other him for a while, Merlin had lost him.<p>

Merlin cursed as he looked around for any clue to where he had gone to.

Merlin had a small suspicion that he wasn't going to win.

_What will happen to Arthur, Gwen and Gaius if I am not in control? My destiny is at its end._

Merlin started to panic so much that he became short of breath and the world started spinning around him.

He fell to the floor, thinking about the golden age of Camelot that he will never make with Arthur. Tears had formed in his eyes, he had lost everything trying to save Arthur.

He now wished that Morgana had just killed him or tortured him for information. It would be better than the pain of thinking that he had failed.

Arthur could be dead.

Merlin shock his head. He had to get these thoughts out of his head. He had already given up too easily and he need to find the drive to keep going. He was going to get control of his body, even if it killed him.

He got up and closed his eyes and tried to see if he could sense the other person running around this place.

Instead of finding a person, there was a source of power.

Merlin tried to keep his senses on the source as he ran through the forest.

The fog was starting to rise and Merlin could now see some of the place where he was.

Merlin pushed himself harder, trying to get to it before his other, evil self.

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><p>Merlin kept his magic at the ready. He didn't want to lose control so would have to fight the other him.<p>

Merlin's legs hurt from the running that he was doing but he could see that the light that the source was giving off.

Once he had reached it he walked around it a couple of times.

"What are you?" He said.

He could hear something coming and didn't know what came over him when he stepped into the light, letting it take over him.


	3. Duties

_From Merlin's head to Camelot for this chapter._

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><p><strong>Duties<strong>

Merlin started by getting changed from the clothes he had on last night.

Agravaine had told him what he had to do by day and would explain more at nights.

At the moment, Merlin knew that he was the manservant of the King of Camelot. The one person that stood between his mistress and the throne.

Agravaine had told him to try and forget that.

Apparently he always smiled and had a jolly personality, but Merlin couldn't think of anything that would make himself jolly.

Agravaine said... Wait how did he know what Agravaine had told him was true?

Merlin was now more confused. He wished that he could go to his mistress to ask him all his questions.

With his mind on overdrive, he decided that it must be time to leave, to serve the king.

"Merlin! You are up early?" an old man said.

Merlin gave him the biggest smile he could muster. "I thought I better be early for once. I couldn't sleep."

"Well you better get going my boy. Wouldn't want to keep you from the king?"

Merlin flashed the old man another smile. Another question added to his already long list.

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><p><em>Did everyone flirt with me? <em>

Merlin had just got out of the kitchens where about ten of the handmaids had shown an interest in him.

_If they did, I know why I dismissed their advances?_

Agravaine was walking down the other side of the corridor that Merlin was.

"Merlin, how are you this morning?"

Merlin looked up at the man, not knowing whether to answer him truthfully or lie like he did the old man.

"I'm fine, milord and how are you?"

Even in answering his question, Merlin believed that it was weird that he was asking him that question.

Agravaine smiled. After last night Agravaine was worried that the younger man would slip up but now he knew that he wasn't going.

"I'm good. Now you ought to get the King his breakfast."

Merlin smiled at the older man before leaving.

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><p>Merlin paused slightly, holding onto the curtains a bit tighter.<p>

_What did Agravaine say that I said when I got the king up? I hope that what he told me was right. How does he know what I say? Is he everywhere?_

"RISE AND SHINE!" Merlin said in his cheeriest tune.

"Merlin!" The king shouted back at him.

"Yes sire." Merlin turned to the king after picking up a few of his clothes.

"It's too early." Arthur said rolling back over.

"No it isn't sire, you have a council meeting this morning. You wouldn't want to be late for that."

Arthur groaned.

"Breakfast milord?"

Arthur raised his head from his pillow. Merlin stood there with a smile on his face, holding an arrangement of meats and fruits.

"_Merlin_, are you feeling alright?"

Merlin looked at Arthur in confusion. "I am perfectly fine." Merlin gave him a big smile. "Come on dollop head, get up."

Arthur smiled at the use of dollop head. He knew that Merlin was alright now.

Merlin turned back to his chores. _Why did I call him dollop head?_

Merlin watched the king eat then helped him change.

* * *

><p>Merlin now wished he had got more sleep last night. He didn't understand why he had to be in the council meeting but Arthur had stressed that he must attend. However it could be a good thing as he could get information for his mistress.<p>

Merlin stated to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet trying to stay awake.

He wished he could ask Agravaine some questions, like who was the old man this morning and who is he friendly to.

Merlin started to close his eyes as they were getting heavier. The rocking motion making him even more tried.

"Are you alright Merlin?"

Merlin turned to see a dark skinned woman standing next to him, smiling.

Merlin stopped the rocking motion and quickly moved his eyes to Agravaine, who gave a small nod.

"I'm fine and you?" Merlin whispered back. _What is it with everyone asking him if he was alright?_

"I'm fine too. You look like you are about to fall asleep. Is Arthur working you to hard?"

Merlin smiled. "Something along those lines. Up until dawn till dusk."

"He does respect you."

"He had a weird way of saying it." Merlin said looking towards the king.

The woman laughed silently. "He missed you when you were taken from Morgana. He sent out patrol after patrol out for you. You may just be his servant to others but you do mean more to him."

Merlin just nodded his head. Getting on to the subject of his mistress and Merlin could ruin everything.

"Right I think that is everything." Arthur said standing up and walking out of the hall.

The rest of the room went to move out as Merlin slumped against the wall.

"_Merlin_!" Arthur shouted.

"Sorry got to go and see what he wants." Merlin smiled at the women, noting that he would have to ask Agravaine who she was later.

The woman smiled back as he ran out of the doors that Arthur just had left through.

Gwen knew something was up with Merlin. She saw his tense when she said about Morgana, but it wasn't as if he tensed out of being scared of her, it was if he was keeping something from her. She knew that Merlin wasn't scared of Morgana. Arthur may say that he is a coward but Gwen knew otherwise. Merlin when out with Arthur on quests without any armour and usually came back unscratched.

Gwen made a note to ask Gaius later.

* * *

><p>Merlin was just finishing his chores when Agravaine approached him.<p>

"Meet in my room at midnight." Agravaine whispered to him.

"Yes milord." Merlin said back.

Agravaine quickly left after that.

Merlin still had no idea whether he could trust Agravaine or not but had no one else to ask.

Merlin looked at the washing he had.

He wondered why he kept doing this for a man that doesn't show him any respect. The woman may have said that he does respect him but Merlin just didn't see it.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day flew by and Merlin quickly fell into a routine, probably his usually routine.<p>

The dark skinned girl seemed to keep an eye on him, always studying him.

Arthur started to talk to him about a traitor in Camelot but Merlin just nodded along, knowing who the traitor was.

Arthur had noticed how silent Merlin was. "Merlin, have I said something to upset you?"

"No milord." Merlin said as he refilled.

Arthur turned to Merlin. "Just you would usually say something about the traitor being my uncle yet you haven't said a word. Come to think about it, you haven't said a word all afternoon."

"Sorry milord, I am just tired." Merlin said smiling at him.

Arthur just looked up at him. "You know Merlin, I enjoyed it when you just called me Arthur."

The young king returned to his meal.

_What have I done to upset him? I thought this was what I was meant to do. I have been nothing but polite to him and he has asked if I am upset with him. I don't understand this at all._

* * *

><p>Merlin was so tired when he walked through the servant corridor towards Agravaine's chamber. He didn't know whether he would be able to stay awake for it all.<p>

He knocked on Agravaine's door and entered afterwards.

"Merlin, come sit down." Agravaine said from his place at the fire.

Merlin went and joined him, flopping down into the seat.

"How has your day been?"

Merlin turned to the Lord. "Good, I think." Merlin thought over what Arthur had said to him and couldn't help but think that he was missing something important. "Why does everyone ask me am I okay?"

"Remember you were taken by your now mistress. They believe she did horrible things to you. They believe they know what is best for everyone."

"Who can I trust?" Merlin asked.

Agravaine looked at the man for a moment.

"Me."

* * *

><p>Merlin left Agravaine's room feeling slightly better.<p>

The old man from this morning was Gaius, his guardian. He now knew that he helped him out a few times.

The woman from the council meeting was Gwen. They were friends as they were both servants. Gwen was the maidservant to Morgana before she betrayed her.

Merlin just felt more and more sorry for Morgana.

Agraviane had told him that she was forced to flee her home due to her guardian's, Uther who was Arthur's father, hatred for magic.

This had sparked some memories. Merlin now could remember that Uther died and on the mention of father, he could remember the chat that he had with his.

Merlin returned to the physician's quarters to find all that candles were out.

Merlin just walked to his room and collapsed on the bed.

Tomorrow was going to be another long day.


	4. Emrys

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><p><strong>Emrys<strong>

"The boy is lost. He cannot remember a thing. He comes to me every night and I have to tell him what to do. Morgana this could help us. He is closer to the king than I could ever hope to be."

Morgana glared at Agravaine. "I don't want to know about Merlin. I want to know about Emrys."

"But Morgana can't you see his worth."

Morgana turned so that she was standing right in front of Agravaine. "The worth of a serving boy? One that seems to get in the way of everything? The one that poisoned me? You want me to see his worth."

Agravaine backed down at that point knowing that Morgana wouldn't change his mind.

Morgana moved so she had a good view over the map.

"I bet Gaius does know who he is." Agravaine said after a while. He joined her standing the other side of the table

Morgana snorted. "Of course you idiot. It just getting it out of him that is the problem. When I fought Emrys I didn't expect the old man to be so strong."

Morgana thought over her fight with Emrys but couldn't shake off the feeling that she knew him. It was his eyes, they looked too young for the old features. They also seemed very familiar. They were a deep blue that ...

"So how are we going to get it out of him?" Agravaine said breaking her out of her thoughts. "I could go to the Druids, they may know who he is."

"Oh and they would tell you once they recognise you and know that the information will be relayed back to me. Don't you already think that I have tried the Druids. No we will use the Catha. They can break anybody."

"All good and well but we have someone that Gaius trusts at our command."

Morgana felt like screaming. "Merlin will be very little use to us."

"Why do you think that Morgana?"

"He just is." Morgana knew that Agravaine knew she was lying.

She just didn't want to see Merlin after what she read. If he was a powerful magical being then why didn't he say anything? Why did he help her when she asked for it? She had practically begged for his help. He made her not seem like a monster or that she was crazy. She thought that he would accept her no matter what. Then he pour poison down her throat.

"Morgana." Agravaine said making her lose all track of her thoughts.

She looked up at him. _When was he standing so close to me?_

Agravaine was now only inches away from her and she didn't like the look in his eye.

_Maybe Merlin would be useful. Maybe he would get this creep away from me._

"Actually you may have a good point there. Merlin lives with Gaius and maybe could get something out of the old man. Bring Merlin next time you come."

* * *

><p>Merlin was thrilled when Agravaine said that Morgana wished to see him tonight.<p>

Agravaine had also hinted that Merlin should ask Gaius about a man named Emrys.

The name gave Merlin shivers but it also felt like it meant something to him. There was something at the back of his mind that made him suspicious of why they wanted to know.

Merlin's memory was still a little foggy but he could now remember certain events, like Uther's death and him becoming a dragonlord. It was like something was trying to push memories forward but not getting the right ones.

Over dinner Merlin tried slipping it into conversation, but he knew he had to be sneaky about it. If is hunch was true and that he was meant to know who Emrys is then Gauis would know that he would know.

"Emrys is the most powerful sorcerer to ever exist, isn't he?"

Gaius looked up from his broth at Merlin. "Of course, you of all people should know that."

Merlin tried not to look defeated. _I knew I was meant to know something about him._

"Are you okay Merlin?"

Merlin looked up at Gaius' worried face.

"Yes Gaius I was just wondering."

Gaius gave Merlin a nod but it was the nod that Merlin wasn't telling him everything.

"Arthur has some chores he wishes me to finish. I better get on with them." Merlin said leaving from the table.

"Of course Merlin." Gaius said as Merlin left.

Gaius had noticed Merlin's odd behaviour and was starting to question whether they had released him from the forromah.

"Gaius, do you have a moment?" a voice said behind the old physician.

Gaius turned to see Gwen behind him.

"Merlin?"

"Defiantly. He hasn't been himself since we destroyed the forromah. Could it still have some sort of hold over him?"

"No it's not possible. There is nothing that I can think of that would mean that he would still be under the forromah's influence." Gaius said sternly

"Are you sure Gaius?" Gwen said coming to sit opposite him. "I don't want to lose him to Morgana. Maybe his attitude has changed because she used so dark magic on him. I don't want to think that Morgana would so something like that but I don't know her any more. She is a stranger."

"I am sure that no magic has been cast over Merlin." Gaius said. "Keep an eye on him but I am sure he will be back to his normal self soon enough. We have very little idea what happened to Merlin while he was with Morgana. He is very good at hiding things from us. He will just take a little time to heal from whatever mind games she played on him."

Gaius hoped this more than anything. He couldn't think where to begin to find information on the forromah as his books had very little detail.

"I hope that you are right Gaius." Gwen said with a small smile. She stood up and left.

"So do I Gwen." Gaius picked up the only book he had with the forromah in it and read the one page he had over and over again, nothing coming out from it.

_What has happened to you Merlin?_

* * *

><p>"Ah Merlin it's good to see you?" Morgana said once Merlin and Agravaine had entered her hovel.<p>

"Is it mistress?" Merlin said with a smile, he was pleased that his mistress want to see him.

"Yes, did you get anything from Gaius?" Morgana asked Merlin.

"No mistress, yet I have a feeling that I should know him. Gaius states that he is the most powerful sorcerer to ever live but that is all I got out of him."

"The feeling that you should know who he is? Why do you have that?"

"My memories are still fuzzy mistress. I can only remember Uther's death and another occasion, which has just slipped my mind." Merlin said looked puzzled. _ I do know what it is, so why am I struggling to remember it?_

Morgana turned to Agravaine before turning back to Merlin. "Arthur had a sorcerer try and save Uther's life. Do you remember what the sorcerer looked like?"

Merlin closed his eyes. Deep down inside he knew the exact features of the man that failed to save Uther's life but he just could picture it at this moment in time.

"I am sorry mistress it seems like everything has slipped my mind tonight."

Merlin was prepared for Morgana to shout at him for being useless and to get out but Morgana instead just put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him into a chair.

Morgana thought back over when her memories had been fuzzy after the same man had poisoned her. To this day she still couldn't remember all the details of the day. Just that he had betrayed her.

"Don't worry Merlin, I know it's hard. I once had fuzzy memories but they will return." When Morgana said the last bit, her nails dug into his skin.

Merlin didn't flinch. He had obviously done something that meant he deserved it just he couldn't remember.

"Agravaine, lets tell Merlin the plan." Morgana said looking up at the old man. "Actually I want to change part of it. Is there any way we can get Merlin out of Camelot for a few days."

"I am sure I can get that arranged. Why?" Agravaine asked. He didn't like how she had changed her mind so quickly.

"I think my little slave needs testing." Morgana said brushing Merlin's hair slightly.


	5. NO

_Back into Merlin's head for this chapter._

_My laptop has decided that it doesn't want to work anymore which means I am updating on a family computer. This computer is regularly stolen by my sister so there may be times when I update on my phone. If this happens I will update again when I manage to get on a computer. I am sorry __for any inconvenience this may cause. RIP my laptop (it was 4 years old so it has done its time)._

_Reply to reviews:_

_x Say x May x I (x) - I managed to retake my maths and got a B overall. Shows what one teacher can do! ;) Glad you are too awesome to fail English because i am no good at it. I have a friend that wants to be a teacher. She enjoyed cleaning the board when asked by a teacher. I think its one of the little perks of the job. Me, nah no good with kids._

_Meri Ley - Maybe it will fail in some ways but succeed in others. You will see in the next chapter._

_FireyIce107 - I believe I mean allegiance as Merlin is kinda giving himself to Morgana and her cause. He is giving her his loyalty._

* * *

><p><strong>NO<strong>

Merlin let go of the light and was flung back into the forest. He stumbled as he tried to remain upright.

The fog seemed to have cleared slightly.

Even if he felt in control, he did very little to change the direction that he was going to go in. And now Morgana was going to test him.

How he didn't know but he couldn't allow the evil himself get to the next checkpoint before him. He needed to be in control for the tests.

Merlin let his magic flow through the forest.

It took him a few moments before he found the source. It seemed as thought it was ages away but Merlin hadn't got the time and started to run.

He didn't know what he would try and do the next time. The only thing he managed to change was Arthur's first suspicions by saying Dollop head. If he wasn't dead by the end of this, he would be surprised.

Of course he knew who Emrys is, because he is Emrys.

He hoped that Gaius could keep his secret as he was scared that he couldn't.

The Catha. Merlin had never heard of them before but they must be people of the old religion for Morgana to know of them.

How Merlin wished that Gaius taught him more magic then trying to control it so that he could hide it. If he was taught more, he could find away to stop this.

Even if Merlin always seemed to be one step ahead of the game, Morgana knew so much more than him and it scared him slightly.

The great Emrys only really knows trivial tricks.

Merlin remembered when Morgana placed her nails into his shoulder. He knew it was because of him poisoning her. Even now he could still feel her nails there.

If he could do anything again, it would be that. Merlin didn't enjoy watching Morgana turn into the monster that he made her. But Merlin supposed she was getting her revenge now.

Merlin started to hear her voice in his head.

"You know, there's one thing I don't understand, Merlin."

No she would never understand anything because Merlin wasn't there to help her understand when she needed it most. He wouldn't have lost her if he had helped her when she needed it. Helped her understand when everything seemed so unclear, like this damn forest. He knew what she was going through. Gaius and the bloody dragon didn't know what it was like. Magic was who he was and he had to hide it just like her.

"You're Arthur's servant nothing more. Yet, time and again you've proved yourself willing to lay down your life for him."

Merlin knew that he wasn't just Arthur's servant. He was his sworn protector, his destiny, his brother. Merlin's life didn't matter when it meant that Arthur could bring about a change that will help his people. If Arthur could see magic can be used for good then he would allow it.

Morgana has done it all wrong. Magic cannot return to the land by force but by understanding. The understanding between the two communities was lost in grief, the grief of a king due to his queen. Arthur should never have been born, it wasn't possible. Now Arthur would always have that against him. Merlin would have loved Arthur to know when Morgause told him but he couldn't allow Arthur to kill his own father. Merlin had grown up without knowing his, how could he take that away from another man?

"Why are you so loyal to Arthur?"

Does loyalty need questioning?

Loyalty comes from believing the views of the other person. Merlin believed that Arthur's views were correct and everything was taking its time for a reason. He knew one day that he would have the same loyalty from Arthur as Merlin gave him. Gwen was right. Arthur did respect him. He asked for his advise for most political question and Merlin enjoyed the fact that he trusted him more than his uncle.

"Don't think I don't understand loyalty just because I've got no one left to be loyal to."

Merlin never really believed that she didn't believe in duty or loyalty. Merlin remembered a time when he would consider her to be the most loyal person he knew. Someone who he had hoped to get their loyalty off. But he had. He had her loyalty when she questioned him about what was happening to her. He was the only one that she said it was magic to. She couldn't tell Uther or Arthur as she could have been executed. Would Uther execute his own daughter?

Where had it gone so wrong?

Merlin knew exactly when it went wrong. He should have never listened to Gaius and the dragon. He should have told her. She would have understood why he couldn't tell her before but it would have helped her more than send her to the Druids. She felt safe and Uther slaughtered them all.

Merlin could see the light now and started to run faster and harder towards it. He needed to be in control for these tests.

He continued to run as hard and fast as he was but Merlin didn't seem to be getting anywhere.

A force brought him flying back into a tree.

Merlin gasped as his back collided with the tree and remained winded for a while.

"See Merlin, you should have let yourself be taken by the darkness when Cornelius Sigan asked you to rule with him. You could have been so powerful with both your powers and his."

Merlin had managed to get his breath back now. "It's better to serve a good ..."

But Merlin was interrupted by his evil self. "... Man that to rule with an evil one. Come on Merlin you know that isn't true."

"Yes it is. We both know what Arthur is destined to do." Merlin tried to get up but failed.

"Oh but will he? As we both know 'It is once again clear to me that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. And that is thanks to you.'" The evil Merlin managed to change his voice to sound just like Arthur's.

"He will. I know he will. He has a good heart."

"You thought that of Morgana once."

Merlin dropped his head. "And look where that's got me." He muttered.

The evil Merlin started to laugh. "Oh this is good. This brilliant." He started to move like an excited child at Christmas. "You are still in love with her or otherwise you would have killed her ages go."

Merlin's head snapped up. "No I don't." Merlin could hardly believe the words himself.

"Oh but you do. Thanks for giving me the edge."

"NO!" Merlin shouted, struggling to get up as the evil version stepped into the light.

The light when out and Merlin was left on his own.

Merlin closed his eyes. _This cannot be happening._


	6. Tests

_Back to the hovel._

_Hope you have a good valentines day. I had hope to hunt down Colin and Bradley so that I could have a valentines but that did happen._

_:)_

_Enjoy_

* * *

><p><strong>Tests<strong>

Merlin woke up and shock his head. For a moment he forgot where he was.

He sat up and looked around the hovel.

It was small and only a little of the morning sun was filtering into the room.

Merlin had slept in what he would call the dining area while Morgana had taken herself off to her bedroom.

Morgana had instructed Agravaine to tell Arthur that he had sent me on a task for him and wouldn't be back for a number of days. Merlin didn't know how Arthur would take it but that wasn't really his problem for the moment.

However Merlin thought that Arthur would be stupid to believe his Uncle.

Merlin heard shuffling in Morgana's room and hoped that it was her coming out.

When the shuffling noise was still happening after a few minutes he went over to see what was the matter was.

Morgana was tossing and turning as she dreamt.

Merlin stood there for a while and just watched her, not knowing whether to wake her or not.

"Mistress." Merlin said shaking her slightly. "Morgana."

At that point, Morgana sat up, wide away and breathing heavily.

Merlin knelt down beside her. "Morgana are you alright?"

Morgana turned to Merlin and threw her arms around his shoulders.

Merlin returned the embrace and started to stroke her back as she started to calm down.

"I have to find Emrys, Merlin. Please remember soon." She whispered to him.

Merlin carried on holding her until she pulled away herself.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Merlin said to her, standing up.

Morgana looked up at the man. He hadn't changed much and Morgana didn't mind that. Until it reminded her that this was what he was like before he poisoned her. She wished to send him away or even give him a taste of his own medicine but Morgana just found herself craving his friendly touches and attitude.

"I am sure there is some bread on the table that we can share." Morgana said getting up.

Merlin fell in step with her as she left her bed chamber.

They ate in silence.

Morgana was thinking of ways in which she could test Merlin. She mainly had to test his loyalty to her, not his strength or capabilities with a sword or weapon as she knew that had had little of both.

Merlin was thinking of how Morgana was going to test him. He knew that he would have to come up with the right answers.

"Who is the enemy?" Morgana said after a while.

"Arthur and anyone that condemns your kind." Merlin said. He had felt his soul just get darker and wanted to change that but he couldn't.

"Who is your enemy?" Morgana said.

"My enemies are your enemies." Merlin replied but he felt some familiarity with the words he said.

"Why are you serving me Merlin? You have always been loyal to Arthur." Morgana said getting up. She couldn't believe his answers. Even if she would have loved him on her side, she thought that he would give up more of a fight.

"Because that is where my calling is. You are my mistress and I will server you for eternity. Arthur has done so many things to you, why would I want to be loyal to a man like him?"

"You're asking me." Morgana muttered in defeat. The book had told her what he had said.

She dropped back into her seat. She had no idea why she was feeling like this. She should be happy that she has got the clumsy manservant's loyalty but it just felt wrong. After everything that had happened to her, she would have thought that she would have loved having one of her old friends at her side.

_Arthur took Gwen off me, why can't I have Merlin? I deserve to have some on and to be happy._

Yet it just didn't seem right. Everything that had happened to her was a result of Merlin pushing me away.

_Why should I trust someone who betrayed me with poison?_

Merlin's soul started to feel darker and darker.

He had to please Morgana but when he did, she didn't seem to like the answers.

_Its wasn't want she wanted but it's what I have felt since I came to here. This growing hatred for Arthur is me but it was hard not to have. After all that him and his father did to her kind, they deserve some justice._

Merlin shook his head. Where were these thoughts coming from?

"Why were you so loyal to Arthur then?" Morgana sneered at him. "Why did you do everything you have done to me if you felt the same as me? You betrayed me badly when you slid the poison down my throat."

Merlin went wide eyed. "I poisoned you? Mistress why would I do such a thing to you?"

Merlin's head spun round so fast that he fell of the chair that he was sitting on.

Morgana picked him up by the collar of his jacket. "You have the courage to ask me that. If I knew why would I ask you."

Merlin wanted to nurse the cheek that she had slapped, but thought better of it. It was stinging so hard that Merlin knew it was red.

"I am sorry if I have upset you. I still don't have all my memories but I know that I wouldn't have done it without reason. Why would I betray you Morgana? I was glad that you treated me as an equal rather than just another servant."

Morgana let go of his jacket so that Merlin fell to his knees. "And I was glad that you didn't just see me as a piece of furniture. You treated me like I was your equal."

Morgana pulled Merlin's head so that it rested on her stomach.

"I am sorry Merlin. I acted rashly."

Merlin wrapped his arms around her hips.

"I probably deserved it anyway."

Morgana didn't reply. She knew that he did but he seemed as though he was a shell of his former self. Morgana loved the Merlin that he was, not this one.

However here in the hovel, they had come in agreement with not only each other but themselves.

* * *

><p>Morgana walked around the forest.<p>

She had to get away from Merlin for a while.

They both needed to think over what happened.

She would forgive him but she could never forget that he had betrayed her. Yet he was the only one to understand her when she needed it most.

She couldn't go to Arthur or Uther with her suspicions of magic. They would have called her crazy as Gaius did.

She enjoyed Merlin's company and she had forgot what it was to have someone else's presence there. Someone there with her for more than a few hours.

Morgana had a feeling that Emrys was getting closer and her dream didn't help her suspicions either.

She was tried of tiptoeing everywhere, not know whether there would be a knight or a bandit around the corner.

Once she was Queen, it would be Arthur that would have to tiptoe everywhere. Because if he escapes this time, he would always have to be watching his back because Morgana wouldn't rest until he was found.

* * *

><p>Agravaine walked back in that evening to see Merlin and Morgana looking over the map.<p>

Morgana head was leaning slightly on Merlin's shoulder.

Agravaine cleared his throat, making the two young adults jump.

"You're back." Morgana said, moving away from Merlin slightly.

"Of course." Agravaine looked over at Merlin, who had made himself look like he was too deep in thought to be listening.

"How was he?"

Morgana tried not to look at the man next to her but failed. "Merlin was fine. We sorted a few things out but I think he can help with our little plan."

Merlin looked up from the map. "I will help you make sure no one suspects that Gaius has been kidnapped. Obviously I will try and say otherwise but I will be on your side all the time. After a while I will just disappear, more than likely saying that I am going to search for him, and will join Morgana with the Catha."

Agravaine looked shocked. "Well you have planned a lot in the short amount of time."

Morgana looked back at the older man. "Of course we have had all day together. Did my brother believe your lies?"

"Of course he did." Agravaine boasted. "He did ask why Merlin would do an errand for me but I said that I needed some of his skills."

"Well luckily you won't have to lie to him any more. Merlin will be trying to get himself out of Camelot from now on." Morgana said turning to Merlin, looking at him affectionately.

Agravaine felt a twinge of jealously. _You have betrayed her and got more from her than I have. You wait and see. I will get her in the end._

"The only problem we have is that the Catha will want something from their troubles, especially if it means coming into Camelot." Merlin said.

Morgana placed her head on his shoulder. "Don't worry Merlin, I have that sorted."


	7. Catha

_This follows the story line of the secret sharer._

_I have only changed the story line slightly so most of it will be similar just mainly people's thoughts._

* * *

><p><strong>Catha<strong>

Morgana walked through the markets filled with stalls. She would have stayed to have a look, if she had the time and money.

Morgana reached the guard outside of the Catha.

"I wish to see the Catha. He's expecting me."

The guard just moved to one side allowing Morgana through.

Morgana walked around the Catha so that he was facing her. She had little knowledge of rituals of the Old Religion. Morgause had told her that they weren't important for the short amount of time they were together.

"You are Alator of the Catha, warrior and priest."

Alator looked up at Morgana.

"You are Morgana Pendragon, High Priestess of the Triple Goddess, and last of your kind."

Morgana tried not to flinch as her last name was used. Even if it had been over a year since it was acknowledged that she was Uther's daughter, the name didn't help what she was trying to achieve.

Alator stood up from his kneeling position.

"What do you seek here?"

"I need you to abduct someone. From Camelot."

Alator looked put off. "Camelot is no friend to our kind. From what I hear, the young king follows Uther's ways."

Morgana sighed. Merlin was clever to know that he wouldn't just jump at the chance.

"You are a Catha. Such things would not stop you." Morgana said. She always knew to play on a man's pride and they would usually do what you asked them.

"Why should I risk my life for you?"

Morgana sighed. She thought it would be slightly easier than this.

Her hand went to the bracelet around her wrist. She didn't wish to give it up but if it would get her closer to Emrys then she would just brave the dreams.

"Because I am willing to give you something in return." Morgana slid the healing bracelet off and held it out to the Catha. "It was forged on the Isle of the Blessed by a High Priestess. Its healing powers are without equal in the five kingdoms.

Alator took the bracelet off her and studied it.

"There is true power here. This is a precious gift. The person you seek must be important to you."

Morgana smiled she hoped that this would mean that he would do it for her. "Yes. I hope the man will lead me to my mortal enemy. Emrys."

Even saying his name made shivers go down Morgan's spine.

"It is as you wish. I will perform this task for you."

Morgana smiled. She and managed to do it.

She curtsied and left.

_I am one step closer to destroying Emrys then Camelot._

* * *

><p>Merlin was waiting for Alator. He had no idea what this man looked like but kept a look out for anyone knew in town.<p>

Agravaine came up behind Merlin. "He is late."

Merlin jumped. "Do you want to give us away?"

Agravaine just looked at the servant. He could kill him right here and nobody would know.

Agravaine grabbed the dagger that he kept on him but Alator arrived.

"You're late!" Agravaine hissed at the man.

Merlin ignored him. "Welcome to Camelot Alator. I hope your journey was pleasant."

"As pleasant as a trip to Camelot can be. Let us not waste any more time."

Alator set off with Merlin behind him. Agravaine was going to go after them but Alator's bodyguard pushed him out of the way and went before him.

Agravaine was annoyed. _First Morgana now this Catha. What is it about this serving boy that makes him so likeable?_

* * *

><p>Gaius was late up working and he was also waiting for Merlin to come back.<p>

He was so worried of his ward and was staying up most nights trying to work out what was wrong with him.

The only solution that Gaius could come up with was that it had something to do with the Forromah but there was very little on it in the books that was available to him.

Gaius looked up when he thought he heard the door go.

"Merlin?" Gaius called out.

Alator grabbed Gaius, placing his hand over his mouth.

"Onslæp nu!"

Gaius tried to keep his eyes open but failed.

* * *

><p>"Milord he was seen riding away from the city."<p>

Agravaine stood in the middle of the physician's chambers, holding a book, 'Witchcraft, sorcery and magic'.

"That can't be true." Merlin said trying to play his part.

Leon entered the room. "Lord Agravaine was right. A white stallion has been taken from the royal stables."

Arthur looked confused about the situation. "Well, where would he be going? Why leave at this time of the night?"

Agravaine just smiled. "Well, I could hazard a guess, sire, but I think a thorough search of his belongings may well provide us with the truth.

* * *

><p>"This was found in Gaius' chambers?" Arthur said with confusion while looking through the book.<p>

"I am as disappointed as you, sire. Someone so close, so trusted. And it's not merely the discovery that he was a sorcerer, is it? It's... it's the lies"

Merlin tried to remain neutral. Yes he was meant to be happy that Agravaine was playing Arthur well but he believed that he could do a better job. But he had to look as though he was on Gaius' side. _It's your lies that will break him eventually. _Merlin thought. _And so will my betrayal._

Merlin blocked out the rest of what they were saying. He just had to bid him time right so that he could met Morgana. He felt this thrill go through him whenever he thought about her, how they were after she slapped him had changed everything.

"As you wish, sire." Agravaine says bowing.

"How can you believe this?" Merlin said once the doors had re-closed again and they were left alone.

"I know how you must feel. We questioned him. He's been consorting with sorcerers. He more or less admitted to it."

Merlin kept his gaze to the floor. "And that makes him a traitor."

"Why run if you have nothing to hide?" Arthur argued.

Merlin fought with himself. "He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to me."

Merlin left without another word.

Now to leave for Morgana.

* * *

><p>Merlin left a note.<p>

It was short and simple.

Just saying that he was going to search for Gaius and wouldn't return till he had found him.

Arthur would believe it. Hopefully.

* * *

><p>Morgana met Merlin at the edge of the cave.<p>

"Did you play your part well?" Morgana asked.

"Yes, I believe that Arthur took it in." Merlin said smiling at Morgana.

Morgana showed him the first proper smile she had shown anybody in ages. "Good, I am glad. Let's see how our friend the Catha got on."

Morgana turned on her heel and returned back into the caves, Merlin followed straight behind her.

As they got closer they could hear what Alator was doing.

"Remember do not resist the fire. Let it in."

Alator stopped his work as Morgana and Merlin entered the room.

"How is he?" Morgana asked.

All three of them looked towards the old physician.

"He is breaking, but slowly. I will have it soon though."

"Merlin." Gaius breathed at seeing his ward.

Merlin turned to Morgana not knowing what to do.

"Of course Gaius. I don't only have one spy in Camelot now but two. The forromah seemed to do something to him. I read that it was meant to be powerful beings but there is very little powerful about Merlin." At the last sentence Morgana looked back at Merlin.

Alator could read all of Gaius' expressions.

"If you go to the next room, I should be finished very soon."

Morgana made no argument and Merlin followed her.

"Emrys? Who is he?" Alator said relighting the flames.

"The most powerful sorcerer to ever lived." Gaius breathed out. Seeing Merlin and Morgana's comments had broken Gaius.

"And his name?"

Gaius tried to keep it in but couldn't. "Merlin. He will unite the powers of old and new and bring about the time … time of … of Albion." Gaius couldn't keep his eyes open any longer and fainted.

Alator didn't know what to do. Merlin, Morgana's little pet as it seemed, was meant to bring about Albion.

He would have to talk to him separately.

_You couldn't have chosen a more powerful being Morgana._ Alator thought.

* * *

><p>Alator's bodyguard came to Morgana and Merlin.<p>

"Alator wants to see him." Pointing at Merlin.

Merlin looked at Morgana and nodded.

Merlin entered the room. He thought that it was weird that he had been called without Morgana.

The bodyguard has dropped back to be by the door.

"Merlin, I want to ask you something." Alator said.

"Of course, ask away." Merlin said.

"How much of your life do you remember?" Alator asked.

"Not much, it's still all a blur at the moment. Morgana said it would clear after a while."

This confused Alator greatly. If this man was who he thought he was, he shouldn't be with Morgana.

"Merlin, you are Emrys."


	8. Magic

_Back to Merlin's head. _

_We will visit Merlin's head a bit regularly at the moment._

_Sorry for the short chapter._

_Enjoy :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Magic<strong>

Merlin watched as his evil counterpart came back.

"I would have thought that you would have left." The evil one said with a smirk. "Want to be beaten again?"

Merlin just looked up at him. "No just thought I would make it fair." He wasn't really. He was just to busy thinking.

Evil Merlin carried on smiling. "See that's the trouble with good people. They always want to make it fair when they know that the evil ones will cheat."

"Do you think Alator will tell her?" Merlin said after a while.

Evil Merlin looked down at him. "Emrys is scared of her."

"I am not scared of her." Merlin said standing up. "You have my thoughts, my feelings. You know that it would kill her if she found out that we are Emrys. She is happier now as she thinks that we are on her side. Can't we just let her be happy?"

"But see you are though. I can see it now. Why are you scared of her?"

Merlin backed down slightly. "I am not scared of her. I am scared of what she will do. She is more powerful than me and that scares me. I am meant to be her doom. How can her doom be weaker than her?"

"You got weaker right." The other Merlin muttered under his breath.

Merlin ignored that comment. "I can allow her to find out about my magic but not that I am Emrys. She will shut me out completely if she knows I am Emrys."

"You follow your heart too much Merlin. As the dragon says, you try and see the good in people."

They both turned to a wave of energy going through them. Both of them didn't think and ran as fast as they could.

Merlin looked over at his other self. He knew that they would match stride for stride as they were the same person but this evil side seem to be slightly faster.

_See the good in people Merlin. Try and make Morgana happy. If you cannot go back to your original self then try and make it so that you can save Arthur._

Then another wave of thoughts when through his head.

_I will tell Morgana. She needs to know. Maybe as she knows I am on her side then she will have lost an enemy without killing them._

Merlin shot a spell at him.

The evil Merlin flew into a tree and collapsed.

_That will keep him away from now. _Merlin thought, smiling.

Merlin could feel the power that came off the light. Every time he knew that he was remembering more but would knowing that he is Emrys be the turning point in remembering everything.

He still had his destiny to protect Arthur. He would just have to be sneaky about it as he would have to do it under Morgana's nose.

Merlin slowed down slightly. She may have slapped him but she was very forgiving. She even lent on his shoulder. She had brought him into the hug that they had.

Merlin stopped.

All this time, all the betrayal towards him. Was it because she felt the same?

Merlin never thought that she felt the same way as he did about her. She couldn't, as Arthur said Uther would have his head just for have feelings for her. If they had a relationship they would have killed him if they found out.

_No she was treating me nice because I didn't treat her like a monster when she found out her magic._

But once his magic is revealed to her, she would be angry that he didn't tell her.

For Merlin there was no winning this situation. Morgana could never be happy due to his secret betrayal for not tell her about his magic.

It's not that he didn't want to, he just knew better than to try and stop destiny. But sending her to the druids only strengthened her heart against Uther because of what he did to them.

Merlin wished he could turn back to clock and change nearly everything that he had done.

He would fix his mistakes with Morgana. Maybe they would have a relationship like Gwen and Arthur's.

Merlin hoped that the day when Arthur looks at him with betrayal would never come but as he was slowly coming under the Forromah's influence, he feared it more and more.

He just hoped that Agravaine would be the first to be found out.

He had Arthur's creepy uncle and the way he looked at Morgana made him want to rip his head off.

Merlin shook his head. He wasn't a murder, that was Morgana.

"Oh but Merlin you are. What of Mary Collins? Edwin? Even poor dear Freya's death can be blamed on you."

Merlin turned around.

"Clever trick there. Shows that you do listen to Arthur sometimes." He said with a smirk.

Merlin just darted off. He couldn't allow him to win. He just ran into the light and allowed it to take him over.

The Evil Merlin cursed. "Don't worry Merlin. You will come around to my way of thinking soon enough. There is enough poison for the both of us."

He smirked then ran back into the forest. The fog had risen so much due to Alator telling the shell that he was Emrys.

Merlin may be in control of the shell for now.

The evil Merlin stopped and the eyes when black as the poison consumed him.

This deep voice came from the body. "So Merlin you want to be a man of love. Then I will allow you to love. You will protect Morgana at any costs as you are the only one allowed to love her. Let's see you try and protect Arthur when he has a sword pointed at your mate's throat."

The poison knew that Merlin was strong, not only magically but was strong willed.

"Think of the empire they will have together. Albion will be made in blood and magic. Time to avenge Uther Pendragon, his son and all the others that followed him into the dark ages."

The poison left the body temporary causing it to faint.


	9. Telling?

_Back to Camelot and Merlin's dilemma._

_Sorry this wasn't up yesterday but had a bit of homework to do and found no time to put it up._

_Enjoy :D_

* * *

><p><strong>Telling?<strong>

Merlin returned to the room and Morgana stood up.

"What did he say?"

Merlin hesitated for a moment.

"He was giving me advise to make it more believable when I bring Gaius back to Camelot. The only problem that we have is that Gaius now knows that I am on your side."

"I know that it was stupid of me." Morgana said lowering her head slightly.

"No, I understand why you did it. He hid everything from you. You were so scared and he didn't help you when you needed it most." Merlin walked up so he was in front of her and lifted her head up by her chin. "I understand everything now. I know why you slapped me. I am so sorry. I remember most things now."

Morgana smiled but she was in shock. "That's now in the past."

Merlin nodded. "But it's good for me to know these things."

Morgana sighed. She didn't want Merlin to leave her but he needed to get back to her brother and Camelot before anybody go suspicious or Arthur sent out knights to find him. Finding him with her would be bad for the both of them.

"You should go." She whispered.

"I know." He whispered back.

Agravaine came in at that point.

Morgana pulled away, being angry at the older man.

_Why does he always come at the most inappropriate times? _

"Found out anything milady."

Merlin stood there and smiled. He knew that he was getting on Agravaine's nerves. Did he really think that he was stupid enough not to hear him get out his dagger when they were waiting for Alator.

"Not yet." She snapped at him.

Merlin knew to stand back slightly. Obviously Morgana wasn't happy with Agravaine coming in when he did. She could at least say something to him without Agravaine doing anything to her.

"He knows nothing Morgana." Alator said coming back in the room.

Morgana stomped on the ground in frustration. "I swear I was close."

"You must be wrong do it again." Agravaine said to the Catha.

"He can't. Gaius is only just alive now. As much as you would like to kill him, it would be better to give him back to Arthur. He obviously wasn't as informative as you thought he was." Merlin said, helping the Catha that knew his secret.

Agravaine stormed over to the serving boy and pinned him to the wall by his throat.

Morgana would have stopped Agravaine but she was too shocked by what he had done.

"You don't tell me what to do."

Merlin just stared at him.

"Get off him. Gaius must have only known the old man that Arthur used to try and heal Uther. Just because he knows one doesn't mean he knows them all." Morgana shouted.

Agravaine dropped Merlin.

Merlin wanted to stand his ground but thought better of it and moved next to Morgana.

"I will look forward to hearing from you, Morgana. I should be getting back to Camelot before a search party is deployed for me." Merlin said with his usually goofy smile.

Morgana couldn't help but smile with him. She had always loved that smile of his.

Merlin stopped by Alator. "I may need your assistance for a little while."

Alator followed Merlin out.

"I don't trust them." Agravaine said when they were out of range.

"Unfortunately you need to deal with it." Morgana said before setting off to leave. "You should go back as well." she called over her shoulder as she went through the doorway.

_No I don't have to deal with it. I will get my own way. Firstly the serving boy then I will have you. _Agravaine thought and left.

* * *

><p>Merlin sighed as he entered the room with Gaius in it.<p>

"I thought that you would tell her."

Alator smiled. "No, that is your job."

"Then I need your advice. Should I tell Morgana that her run-a-round is her doom? Should I tell her of my magic? Should I just keep quiet?"

Alator remained silent. "To those questions, I don't know as I do not know how she will react. You have known her for a while. You should be able to answer your own questions."

Merlin looked at his former mentor. "Will he remember that I was here?"

Alator stood next to Merlin and looked at Gaius. "Depends, if he asks you then you could say no and the torturer methods do make hallucinations."

"I may have to do that."

"You seem different to the man I met a few minutes ago."

Merlin smiled. "That's because I am fighting with myself over who is in control."

Alator nodded. "You should get him back."

Merlin sighed and just nodded. He took one of Gaius' arms and put it over his shoulder.

_What am I going to say to Arthur?_

* * *

><p>Arthur stood at the doorway of the physician's chambers. He had been informed that Gaius had woken from his ordeal. Merlin hadn't given much away from when he found Gaius but Arthur knew better than to push it. Arthur may not notice much but he knew that Merlin was quite an emotional person.<p>

Merlin moved out of the room when he saw Arthur.

Arthur sat down by the old man.

"I owe you an apology."

Gaius smiled at the young king. "I accept it sire."

"What happened to you?"

"Morgana was after some information. I remained loyal to you and Camelot but not spilling a word. Yet I don't think Merlin is the same person he was. I believe that Morgana may have done something to him. Don't do anything rash. I think he hopes that I forgot."

Arthur lent back in his chair. "Merlin?"

"He had a Forromah placed into the back of his neck. I need to research it more but I think it did something to him."

"A Forromah? Gaius there is nothing wrong with Merlin. I will agree that he hasn't been himself since he came back from his capture but he will get over it. Come on Gaius, I even know that Merlin is stronger than that. He has been worried sick about you. He even left on his own to find you."

Gaius sighed. _No wonder that Merlin just does everything by himself. He wouldn't get anywhere if he waited for Arthur._

"Rest now Gaius."

Arthur smiled down at him and left.

Merlin slipped back in. "I wondered whether you remembered."

Gaius waited till Merlin was next to him before he said anything. "What has she done to you?"

Merlin's gaze softened.

"I don't know Gaius. I am fighting with myself over whether I should be with her or not and unfortunately the dark side is winning. At the moment I am in control but I don't know how long for. Alator told me that I was Emrys and it has jogged so many memories. I forgot about everything and was meeting Agravaine to remember what I had to do."

Gaius stared up at his ward. "It's really you."

"As I said for the moment. What do I do Gaius?"

Gaius sighed. "For once Merlin I have no idea."

"I need to still be on her side. She seems happier with me there. I cannot allow Agravaine to get his greasy hands on her. I think she may have forgiven me. Gaius I could stop her. I could stop everything."

Gaius had little idea what was happening. "Merlin remember you need to guard your secret with your life. You must not tell her."

Now as Merlin seemed on her side, that was Gaius' biggest fear. Morgana cannot know about him.

"Why? It's my secret that cast her away. She came to me and asked me for help. She asked, no begged me to tell her that she had magic and I pushed her away. I pushed her towards Morgause. You was born and raised in an age where if you found out that you had magic, it was fine, you were taught how to hone it and use it. For me and Morgana it was different. We were scared of ourselves. We had to very quickly know how to hide our magic. You have no idea how it feels. I should have helped her but I didn't because I listened to you."

Gaius had never seen Merlin so angry.

"Don't do anything stupid."

Merlin gave Gaius the most sinister look. "No I won't do anything stupid because I have already made too many stupid mistakes."

Merlin left Gaius to rest.

_What has she turned him into? _Gaius thought.


	10. Love?

_Back to Merlin's head._

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* * *

><p><strong>Love?<strong>

Merlin returned to the forest.

"No, no. That wasn't long enough." He shouted into the forest.

"Wasn't it?"

Merlin turned around.

"I thought it was plenty." Evil Merlin said smirking.

"Do I really look that bad? Bloody hell I hope I don't pick up on Morgana's smirking habits." Merlin joked.

The evil Merlin smile just dropped.

Merlin watched as his eyes when black.

"Do you like the new feature I entered? You are a man of love. I should know, Morgana once said that you were a lover and not a fighter. Do you still love her?"

"New feature?" Merlin wanted to avoid the question about his love for her.

"You must protect Morgana at any costs as you are the only one allowed to love her."

With a wave of his hand, Merlin could see Morgana in her hovel.

She looked around as if searching for someone.

"Can't you see she is so lonely?" The poison said to him. "She wasn't this lonely once."

The image changed to when they were coming back from saving Ealdor.

"Come on Merlin. Quicker with that firewood. We have ladies freezing here." Arthur shouted.

"Oh Arthur lay off him a little. He has just seen his friend die." Morgana said.

Arthur's pride dropped.

"Come on Merlin. I will finish getting it."

Merlin sat down by Gwen opposite Morgana.

"I'm sorry Merlin for him. If it was up to me I wouldn't allow him out of his chambers." Morgana joked.

Merlin just smiled. "Thanks for your kindness milady."

"Merlin, we aren't in Camelot now and even in Camelot. Call me Morgana. I have been trying to get Gwen to do it for years."

Merlin just smiled.

Morgana stood up. "I should see how he is getting on. He probably doesn't know the difference between any plants."

He was now just left alone with Gwen.

"Thanks for your help." Merlin said to her.

"Well Morgana insisted that we were going with you so you should really be thanking her."

Merlin looked over his shoulder at the Prince and the Ward. They were bickering over something.

Morgana had moaned at Arthur to treat him better. He just hoped that her words did get to him.

The image changed back to the one of Morgana in her hovel.

"She used to be surrounded by everybody now they thing of her as a monster, a stranger."

"I know she isn't." Merlin whispered.

"So do you love her?"

Merlin just stared at her. She looked so lost being alone. He supposed that a few days with him and proper company help her have some human contact. Other than that she only had Agravaine.

"You are right not to trust Agravaine with her. He only wants one thing off her. The question is..." He lent in closer to Merlin's ear. "... Are you going to allow it."

The image changed to one of just Morgana and Agravaine. They were talking about him.

Morgana said. "Merlin will be very little use to us."

Merlin could just feel her anger at Agravaine.

"Why do you think that Morgana?"

"He just is." Morgana said fading out into her thoughts.

Agravaine had notice this and made himself a little more comfortable. He stood so close to Morgana that Merlin thought that she would have felt his breath on her.

"Morgana." Agravaine said making her lose all track of her thoughts.

Morgana looked shocked about how close he was and covered it up well.

"He will not get away with that." Merlin said trying to attack the image.

"So you do still hold feelings for her." The poison said removing the image.

"Well you are me aren't you? I would have thought that you would have worked that one out."

"I suppose but that isn't nearly as fun." Evil Merlin said smirking.

"What are you? A shell inside a shell?" Merlin said

"I am the root of the problem. I am the poison that has manifested inside you. I am what is making you take this path. Let's see, you are a warlock and a dragonlord, both the last of your kind."

Merlin tried not to react.

"Oh but what about poor darling Freya? Won't she be sad once she found out her love is with another woman? Oh sorry she won't find out because she is dead."

Merlin reacted but he knew that it is what the poison wanted.

The poison managed to flick the spell away. "Tsk, tsk, temper temper Merlin. Better get a grip of that."

Merlin held himself back from reacting again but running away.

Merlin didn't want to do it but he had found running away from his problems being useful in some cases.

Then he felt the light.

Unfortunately for him it was in the opposite direction to what he was running in so he turned around.

He knew that he wasn't going to get there before the other him but he wasn't going to give up without a fight.

He knew that he was in love with Morgana, there was no doubt about it. Being with her had resurfaced old emotions and new. They now really had a chance to be together and he could make it work.

But he couldn't think like that. She was still an enemy of Camelot and wanted to kill his destiny.

He may have to break her down. Maybe they could run off together, some place far away from here, somewhere where they will be accepted for who they are.

Merlin was making the perfect scenario in his head that he slowed down slightly and felt the magic go.

Merlin stopped.

He had lost it this time but he knew the way forward. He now knew what he was going to do, even if it killed him.

He was going to tell Morgana about his magic and that he is Emrys.


	11. Loyalty

_Back to Camelot._

_Hope you enjoy._

* * *

><p><strong>Loyalty<strong>

Agravaine arrived at the hovel.

Morgana was pacing.

"What's up milady?" Agravaine said making himself comfortable at her table.

"Merlin has just informed me that Gaius remembers everything. He remembers that Merlin was there."

Agravaine looked at the serving boy in the corner. He had noticed him until now.

"Well I am sure your little pet can find a way of making sure Gaius keeps his silence."

"He has already told Arthur." Merlin said. "He didn't believe him. I should really have guessed that though."

Agravaine glared at the boy. "Well let's hope he doesn't do it again."

"Arthur won't believe him. I have told him many times that you shouldn't be trusted and he hasn't believed me. Both our betrayals will hit him hard."

Morgana stopped pacing. "Will they?" She questioned.

Merlin turned to her. "Of course. He believes that I will follow him no matter what and that his Uncle is here to help him."

"Is that what we want? It will break him." Agravaine said. He couldn't understand why they were having this conversation.

Morgana shock her head. "Yes, of course we do."

She looked at Merlin and saw that he knew that she was lying slightly.

She wanted the throne as it was her right but she did still care for Arthur and Gwen slightly.

"Merlin has shown his loyalty now." Morgana said. "I now know that I can trust him."

Merlin gave a ghost of a smile. Yes it was nice to know that Morgana trusted him but he still had his secret and knew that it would kill her when she found out.

"Agravaine you are dismissed. I don't think there is anything more that needs to be said tonight." Morgana said to him but still looked at Merlin.

Agravaine glared at the manservant but neither of them noticed as they were both staring at each other.

He got up and left. Agravaine closed the door and heard that they had moved.

He peeked through the window. Merlin had moved from the corner and enclosed Morgana in a hug.

"Merlin I don't know what is wrong with me."

"Maybe its me."

Morgana looked up at Merlin. "Why would you say that?"

"Look at us Morgana. As you said we use to be so close then I … we you know. I threw everything away. Maybe me just being here has brought back the memories of what it was like before that. Maybe your sub conscience wanting you to be that person again."

Morgana studies Merlin for a moment. "Maybe you're right."

"You know me, I am always right. Arthur just hasn't seen that yet."

Morgana chuckled.

Agravaine could never remember Morgana having a smile like that. All the smiles she gave him now seemed force while that one she gave to Merlin seemed real.

"That doesn't mean I want you to stop coming though. I like seeing you." Morgana said.

"Of course I will. You know me, I love sneaking around."

"You just seem to be good at it."

Agravaine now knew that he had to get rid of Merlin. He was a bad influence on Morgana. He was making her soft. It also meant that Agravaine was further away from getting what he wanted. He wanted Morgana and hoped that once he had made her queen, she would make him king.

Merlin smiled.

"I should really be getting back." Merlin said realising her from his hold.

Morgana's smiled dropped. "Why? Can't you stay?"

Merlin sighed. "No Gaius said that he would wait up for me. I think he hopes that I won't do anything stupid as he believes that he can still reach me."

Merlin grabbed Morgana's hand and gave it a kiss.

"Goodnight Morgana, sweet dreams."

Morgana shied away slightly. "Goodnight Merlin."

Agravaine moved to grabbed his horse out of sight.

Merlin walked straight passed him and rode off.

Agravaine went back to window to see Morgana was dancing around the room.

She had become a lovesick puppy.

Agravaine had to stop Merlin. He just had to make sure that it is down in the correct fashion.

* * *

><p>Morgana couldn't help herself.<p>

There was just something about Merlin that made everything seem better.

He was right. In the back of her mind, she did want to be the person she was.

But if she thought about it, she was.

She always helped out the unfortunate. Just because it is the magical community not the poor any more doesn't mean she is a different person altogether.

Yet her methods were different now. Anyone that said that Arthur would bring back magic was a liar.

Magic could only return when someone that had suffered at the hand of that tyrant was on the throne.

Agravaine could never understand what it felt for her but she can see that Merlin does.

Merlin was still a mystery to her.

There was just something about him that she could never figure out and still can't now. The thing is it was as clear as day but Morgana could never seem to see it.

Agravaine was just annoying her. All his comments weren't needed and she didn't want him any more.

She would have loved Merlin to stay the night but with Gaius now knowing it was probably better that he returned.

Morgana knew that Arthur wouldn't believe Gaius. He couldn't really see past the end of his nose. But it worried her that one day he may start believing what he was being told.

All her plans were based on Arthur's oblivious nature.

She would get her revenge on Arthur and their father and hopefully sooner rather than later.

* * *

><p>Gaius was standing in the middle of the chambers with his eyebrow raise as Merlin entered.<p>

"This has got to stop." He said.

"What has got to stop?" Merlin said innocently.

"You have a destiny to protect Arthur. You cannot be on both sides at the same time. Have you seen the dragon about this?"

"Why would I see him about it? He would probably fry me alive. You now that he hates my mistress."

Merlin stopped as he had noticed his mistake. He hadn't called her Morgana but his mistress.

"Your mistress?"

"That is what she is. It just like Arthur except she actually treats me with respect." Merlin tried to keep his anger down.

"Arthur treats you with respect." Gaius tried to argue.

Merlin scoffed. "He has a very funny way of showing it."

"I am not going to get into the argument with you Merlin."

"Well you started it."

Gaius looked at Merlin.

"What happened to the boy that came into my chambers only a few years ago?"

Merlin's gaze held Gaius'. "He grew up."

Merlin walked towards his room and slammed the door slightly.

Gaius had no right to talk about Morgana like that.

He changed for bed but stayed up most of the night still seething.

Merlin knew that he shouldn't allow his anger to get the best of him but it didn't help when he didn't know what to do.

He wanted to tell Morgana about his magic. Yet he didn't want to see the consequences of him keeping it a secret.

_Stupid bloody dragon. Stupid Gaius. Stupid innocent, ignorant me. Why couldn't I have told her?_

* * *

><p>Agravaine returned to his chambers.<p>

He had to stop Merlin from getting any closer to Morgana but he had to do it so that Morgana wouldn't shut him out.

_Maybe pushing him off the battlements. That could work as he sometimes walks along there. It would seem more like an accident._

_But thinking of accidents, wouldn't a hunting death be easier. I could still do it myself or pawn it off to someone else. However the only problem there would be that Arthur would take him straight to Gaius._

_What would make Arthur see this boy as the bad guy rather than the faithful servant he always has been? What does Arthur hate more than Morgana?_

Agravaine stopped thinking there.

_What if Arthur found out that he had magic. The boy wouldn't but I was able to plant a seed in Arthur's mind abut Gaius._

If he could persuade Gaius to continue to say that there is something wrong with Merlin then Agravaine could back him up.

Say that he couldn't sleep on time and saw Merlin sneaking about, followed him to Morgana.

Agravaine smiled to himself. _That might just work then even if he gets out of it then I could poison him against Morgana by saying that he didn't tell her about his magic when she found out. Could even lie and say that he is Emrys._

Agravaine couldn't believe that he had come up with the plan that he had.


	12. Secrets

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* * *

><p><strong>Secrets<strong>

Merlin woke up and just left the physician's chambers.

He saw that Gaius was up but didn't want to listen to him today.

He was going to tell Morgana today. He was going to tell her of his magic and his identity.

Luckily he now had his memories back so it made walking through the castle was second nature again and Merlin had quickly got Arthur's breakfast and was at his chambers.

He didn't bother knocking and walked in placing the food on the table and going towards the curtains.

"Rise and Shine." Merlin said as loudly as possible.

"Merlin" Arthur groaned from under his covers.

"Come on sire, you have training in half an hour, a council meeting just after lunch and Gaius needs me collect herbs this evening so you better make us of me now."

Arthur rolled over so that his face wasn't in the morning sun. "Just a bit longer Merlin."

Merlin walked around and grabbed the pillow from the other side. Why Arthur needs two pillows Merlin would never understand.

"Come on Sire. Don't make me do this?"

Arthur just groaned again, muttering something about Merlin being annoying and wanting more sleep.

Merlin lifted the pillow over his head and hit it on Arthur's side.

Arthur's head came out from under his covers and sitting up.

"Did you just hit me Merlin?" He said grabbing the pillow his head was just on.

"Umm..." Merlin couldn't get any words out before Arthur had hit him with his pillow right round his head.

"You're up then sire." Merlin said.

Arthur just threw the pillow at him.

Arthur got up then went over to the table with his food on it.

Merlin looked at it and now wished that he had stayed a little longer for breakfast.

* * *

><p>Merlin held up the shield.<p>

Apparently Merlin had made Arthur late. He tried to argue that if Arthur got up when Merlin firstly tried they would have been on time.

This now leads to Merlin being battered by Arthur and his knights.

Most of them laughed it off as just their normal behaviour but Merlin couldn't believe that he had taken this for so long.

After not blocking quick enough, Merlin had ended up with a sword biting into his forearm.

Arthur stopped the exercise and sent Merlin straight to Gaius.

Merlin didn't want to go but Arthur had asked for Gwaine to take him there.

It just meant making small talk with Gwaine until he could lose him.

Unfortunately Gwaine waited till Merlin was done but a good thing that he did waited in the room so it meant that Gaius couldn't lecture him about Morgana.

* * *

><p>Merlin's arm felt sore for the rest of the day.<p>

He didn't want to try a healing spell just in case Arthur asked about it.

Merlin started rocking on the balls of his feet as the council meeting slowly went by.

He could feel Agravaine's eyes on him.

He didn't wish to look at the older man.

Merlin knew that he was slightly jealous of his new relationship with Morgana.

There was always something about Agravaine that put Merlin on edge, it was mainly the way that he looked at Morgana.

_Only I can love Morgana._

* * *

><p>Morgana and Merlin lent over the map while Agravaine was glaring at them.<p>

They were planning their next takeover. They needed an army.

"Essitir?" Agravaine said after a while.

Both Merlin and Morgana looked up at him.

"Now I am not stupid enough to ask Lot." Merlin said.

Morgana looked back a the map. "He's right. They blame me and my late sister for Cenred's death. Even if it was my sister, they won't jump at the chance to help us."

"Merica?" Agravaine suggested.

"Doubt it. They have been on good terms with Camelot ever since they came when Merlin was poisoned. I don't think they would want another war with Camelot." Morgana said, still looking over the map.

"Well Cearloen is out of the question." Agravaine said.

"There is the Saxon's but they are still quite high up in the country." Merlin said.

Morgana ghost her hand over the map and stopped it. "What have you two heard of the Southerns?"

Merlin sighed. "They are led by Helios. He is a bit of a character but other than that nothing."

Agravaine smiled. It was his time to shine. "Helios is a brash, brutish and warlike man however he can be a civilised and charming character. I wouldn't trust him much milady, he is easily lured in by women. However I am sure you could use it to your advantage as to get him on your side. He is adept leader and a skilled warrior."

"He seems perfect and if his men are like him then they seem perfect as well. But I doubt this plan will go out soon. I have something that my sister left me that I wish to use first. I think we need to break Arthur a little before we launch this attack."

Merlin smiled. Morgana had hinted that she might bring back Lancelot.

As much as he knew it would hurt Gwen and Arthur, Merlin couldn't wait to have the old Lancelot back. He had missed him and he was the only one to know of Merlin's magic and had accepted him for it as well.

"I think that is all for tonight." Morgana said.

Agravaine stood up and left with just a small bow.

He went to the same spot he was the night before.

Morgana turned to Merlin. "You should get back now. It's late and I worry that you will get caught one day. Agravaine is a lord and will get away with it but I don't know whether a servant like you would."

Merlin just nodded.

He turned to leave but stopped.

It was now or never.

"Morgana I don't know how to say this." He turning back to her.

Morgana looked up from the map.

"Know how to say what Merlin? Come on you know you can tell me anything."

Agravaine held his breath and hoped that he wasn't going to profess his love or anything. If he did, Agravaine knew that he would never get Morgana.

"It's not that simple." Merlin stood up and grabbed Morgana's hands. He led her to the chair he was on and sat her down.

She tried to get up again but Merlin kept her down.

"You will need to sit down after what I tell you."

Merlin swallowed.

"Come on Merlin. I won't bit your head off."

_That's easier enough for you to say._ Merlin thought.

"Morgana..."

"Merlin, you're bleeding."

Merlin looked at his arm. He couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed that the bandage and now his tunic had been soaked through.

Morgana stood up and pulled up his sleeve. She undid the bandage to show the two inch long cut.

"How did this happen?" Morgana said as she when to get a bowl and bandages.

"Arthur was annoyed at me for making him late, when he made himself late. So I became the training dummy but I was too slow to block an attack."

Morgana began to clean the wound. "You should have gone to see Gaius before you came."

"And if I did, I wouldn't be here. Gaius is trying to stop me from going to you."

Morgana wrapped the bandages tight around Merlin's arm.

"That will have to do for now." Morgana said tucking the loose end into wrap. She had no idea why but she had the urge to kiss the bandage. She managed to stop herself and put everything back.

Merlin sighed. _How can I do this to her now? She obviously cares for me. But if she finds out later it will be more disastrous._

"Morgana." Merlin tried again.

Morgana sat back down where Merlin had placed her.

"I have something to tell you. Unfortunately it will affect the relationship we have. Alator did find out who Emrys was but didn't tell you because he was protecting him. Emrys may be your doom but to the magical community he is a saviour to them. Gaius warned me to keep my secret but I can't from you not for any longer. I should have done this years ago."

Morgana was so confused. _Please don't say you have magic, please don't say you are a powerful magical being._

Merlin held out his hand and made a little flame.

"Morgana, I have magic and I am Emrys. I am so sorry."

* * *

><p><em>So he has told her.<em>

_I hope this flowed well as it didn't seem to when I read it._


	13. Whiplash

_Halfway through this chapter we go into Merlin's head. _

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* * *

><p><strong>Whiplash<strong>

Morgana stood straight up.

She wanted to watch the flame and be in awe at the power he was giving off but she couldn't.

"Get out." She whispered.

Merlin didn't register it until she had pushed him away.

"Get out! Get out! I don't want to see you again!" Morgana yelled at him.

Merlin still just looked at her blankly.

"Morgana..." He tried.

"Leave me alone Merlin! I don't want to see you! I don't want to be near you ever again!"

Merlin just nodded before he left through the door.

Agravaine couldn't believe his luck. He didn't have to turn Morgana against Merlin with lies because he had already done that by telling the truth.

Agravaine just couldn't believe that Uther had never discovered Merlin and why Morgana didn't know.

_Been poisoned by your own kind._ Agravaine said smiling.

He hid as Merlin left and went back to the window to see how Morgana was coping after he left.

Morgana stood in the same place that Merlin had left her.

"That bastard made me feel like a monster." Morgana shouted.

She turned to the table and cleared it in one sweep of her arm.

Her magic lashed out and made all the flames of the candles bigger.

Agravaine didn't want to intervene but if it meant save her from a fire that she caused, he would.

Morgan looked for more things to take her anger out on but felt as though she couldn't move.

Tears started falling down her face.

"Bloody powerful being." Morgana screamed as she fell to the floor. "Why does it have to be Merlin? Why can I not just love? Why him of all people? He is a lover not a fighter."

Agravaine thought that it would be best to leave her. She may not like him spying on her.

_He is a lover not a fighter _were the words going around Agravaine's mind as he left for Camelot.

* * *

><p>Morgana had finally felt the eyes leave her.<p>

She knew that she was going to get an earful from Agravaine about trusting Merlin but how was she meant to know if he told her nothing.

He had poisoned her. Her own kind had poisoned her.

That thought was the only thing that hurt.

She tried not listening to her heart.

It ached with more than that betrayal. It ached with the betrayal that everything was going to be alright, with the fact that Morgana could still love.

Morgana couldn't blame Gwen for her crush on Merlin. His boyish charm and good looks would land him any girl he wanted.

Morgana shook her head. _Why was she thinking of these things? He had left her when she needed him most._

But Morgana knew that she had fallen for the country boy again and fallen hard.

Morgana loved his presence and he did keep Agravaine away from her.

Morgana had to keep her head together, something like this and Agravaine would be all over her.

She tried to pick herself off the floor but she just felt so heavy.

It was a relief to finally know who Emrys was. So why did everything feel out of place.

Morgana rested her head against the chair that Merlin made her sit in. He was right, she needed to be sitting down for that revelation.

She knew it was going to be an uncomfortable night on the floor but she had very little strength to get up with.

The candles had finally gone down so much that they had gone out and left Morgana in darkness.

* * *

><p>Merlin carried on spurring his horse on faster.<p>

He wanted to get away.

He knew that it wasn't going to end the way that he wanted it but he had to try.

He was glad that it was off his chest but he now couldn't go back to her.

Merlin slowed down his horse when he started to feel light head. A pain went straight through his head and Merlin let go of the reigns to grab hold of it.

Merlin had never felt pain like this before, even when he was poisoned.

Merlin felt himself sway and went for the reigns to keep him upright but fell off before he got the chance.

Merlin saw that his horse had stopped not too far from him.

He struggled to keep his eyes open but let go in the end. He knew he wasn't going to win.

* * *

><p><em>Merlin's head<em>

* * *

><p>Merlin was back in the forest.<p>

The poison stood in front of him.

"Seems like we had different ideas. How did you manage to control yourself to do that?" The poison said as the eyes seemed to get darker.

"I don't know. I didn't know that I was in charge. I thought you was."

"You have spoilt my plans." The poison shot a spell at Merlin.

Merlin only just managed to get out of the way in time by diving onto the floor.

"I was going to use magic to save her from a situation and now you have been all soppy and told her. Arthur is right you are just a girl's petticoat."

Merlin stood up and taller than he ever has done. "You think I am a coward. Yes in some situations I have been a coward but others I have had to do the unthinkable to get where I think I am going. There needed to be trust between me and Morgana for this ever to work. You way would have made everything worse. At least she knows I can be honest with her. Did you see the look she had on her face before she told us to get out?"

The poison took a step back.

Merlin continued. "That was awe. Total an utter awe. You have my memories that was the same face that Freya gave us. She wanted to keep us there but she just needs to think about it. We will be back to her in no time."

The poison smiled. "See you are getting into my way of thinking. You want to be on Morgana's side and to kill Arthur."

"No I don't want to kill Arthur. I can still achieve my destiny this way. Instead of Arthur, I hope to make Albion through Morgana. Arthur will remain unharmed."

"And how will that work?" The poison said cocking his head to one side.

Merlin sighed. "I haven't worked that out yet."

A surge of power rippled through the forest.

The other light was far away but it was giving off so much power.

They both looked at each other before running towards it.

Merlin tried not to look at the poison but he couldn't help but notice that he was faster than him.

_How can he be faster than me? We are the same person._

The poison smiled. "I can give things to this body so that I can win. Goodbye Merlin."

The poison seemed to race ahead and ran into the light before Merlin had only just seen it.

Merlin couldn't believe it and for once believed he couldn't fight his darkness.

He had released his darkness before in the name of Arthur but could always suppress it.

Merlin knew that the war with himself was getting close to finishing and he was losing and badly.

* * *

><p><em>Camelot<em>

* * *

><p>Agravaine carried on his way home, thinking about how he can get it to be Merlin to seem like the traitor to Arthur.<p>

That's when he noticed a horse with no rider up ahead.

Agravaine stopped just before it and noticed Merlin's body.

He could have laughed. This was a perfect opportunity to kill him without raising much suspicion.

Agravaine jumped off his horse and grabbed the dagger that was on his saddle. He always carried this blade with him. It was the last thing that Ygraine gave him before she died and it meant the world to him. His sister may have got on better with their older brother but Uther took both of them away from him. This was all of their revenge.

He knelt down on the ground and lifted Merlin's chin up slightly.

He was just about to place the blade against his throat when and hand grabbed his arm.

"What do you think you are doing?" Merlin said to him.

"I was checking whether you were alive or not." Agravaine lied.

Merlin didn't look convinced but got up and onto his horse and rode off into the night.

Agravaine cursed at his bad luck. Nothing was going right for him and he knew that if this carried on his would never get his revenge or reward.


	14. Missing

_The aftermath._

_Reply to reviews:_

_JAIMOL - well here is where they relationship may take a turn._

_caldera32 - that would have been a good twist but there are other ways that I am going to do that. I know you don't bite but I like doing it this way (also it helps me as sometimes I cannot make the words up in the chapter so a big A/N makes up for it :P)_

* * *

><p><strong>Missing<strong>

Morgana woke up and defiantly blamed herself for sleeping on the floor. Her back and neck ached.

She picked herself off the floor and sat in the chair she had her head on all night.

With all her anger gone, Morgana could finally think over what Merlin told her last night.

She wasn't angry any more, just sad. She felt upset that Merlin could never tell her his magic when she was perfectly happy with tell him.

And he was the one questioning her loyalty.

How long had he been deceiving her? Arthur? Even Uther? Himself?

Morgana shock her head. She needed to stop thinking these things or she would exhaust herself again.

She didn't feel like eating and decided that there was very little to do other than to go to bed.

* * *

><p>It had been a week since Merlin told Morgana of his magic and Merlin was thinking that it was the wrong decision.<p>

He had enjoyed going to Morgana and once he got back his memories, it reminded him of the better times.

Morgana just seemed to enchant him. He really didn't know why he kept going to her when he knew what he was meant to achieve.

_Maybe the dragon was wrong? Maybe it wasn't Arthur to bring about Albion? Couldn't a monarch with magic show more understanding than one without?_

Merlin carried on scrubbing the floor.

Arthur had gone hunting and fallen off his horse into a bog. Not only did Merlin have to clean his ruined clothes but wash the floor between the main door to Arthur's chambers and then inside the chambers as well.

Merlin wished he had something to excite him, to make it seem like this day wasn't going on forever but there was nothing.

He had noticed that Gwen was still watching him and tried to act as normal as he could but it was hard to when he didn't have Morgana.

Every time he saw Agravaine, he hoped that he would say that Morgana wanted him to come back. But the lord just ignored him.

He would walk around the woods for ages when he could collecting herbs for Gaius. He wondered whether he could go and see Morgana and still be back at a time that seemed appropriate. He would always just get to the edge of the valley of the fallen kings before deciding that it wouldn't work. She would still be angry at him.

Arthur would question him on his mood and Merlin tried to brush him off the best he could.

Arthur had nearly got it out of him today and Merlin was kicking himself for his little slip up.

He could see why everyone was so concerned for him but he wanted to be able to act how he use to but it was hard when his heart was so heavy with regret.

Merlin couldn't believe that he had lived this long like this and wondered how he wasn't an emotional wreck because of it.

He climbed up the stairs to the physician's chambers and entered.

Gaius was sitting at his desk. "No Morgana? You haven't seen her in a while."

Merlin just walked through hoping he could get away with not replying.

"Merlin please don't tell me that you have done something stupid."

Merlin stopped and sighed. "It wouldn't have been something stupid if I did it years ago. She was happy I could see her starting to come back and against my better nature I told her." Merlin turned and looked at Gaius. "Are you happy now? She never wants to see me again. I am so lost Gaius."

Gaius was surprised. "See this is why you shouldn't have told her."

"No, see what happens when I listen to you and that oversized lizard and don't listen to myself and what I think is right. You never saw her that night. She was so lost begging me to tell her that she has magic and I turned her away. We didn't start to lose her when I poisoned her, we started to lose her then. And I could have stopped it."

Merlin didn't wait for a reply and went into his room.

* * *

><p>Morgana walked around the forest. It had been a week but she still had the same thoughts going around her head.<p>

_Why didn't he tell me? How long has he know he has had magic? How long had he been deceiving her? Arthur? Even Uther? Himself? Did Gaius know? Hunith? His friend Will? How much had he done for Camelot in the name of Arthur to keep him alive? Was he going to tell me about his magic when we defeated the Anfac? Was he ever in love with Gwen? Am I in love with him?_

All these thought just exhausted Morgana every day.

The last question she didn't know how to answer. She had some feelings for him and wished for his loyalty but she wouldn't have said that she was in love with him. She always saw that he would look at her at banquets and his gaze seemed to make her more self-conscious than anyone else. She had times when she admired him, like the time he brought Mordred to her and help her look after him. But they were only little things and they didn't matter. Did they?

Morgana shock her head.

She really needed to sort herself out but she hadn't felt like this since Morgause had died.

She couldn't place all her feeling under one word but the biggest was sadness.

Morgana couldn't believe that this one stupid, idiotic, handsome manservant could make her feel so happy.

_When did she start seeing him as handsome?_

Morgana couldn't deny that Merlin was handsome. She use to see all the maids staring at him in affection. Gwen even fell for his boyish good looks once.

Morgana thought about it and it must have been them high cheekbones or the way he smiled or his kind nature or …

Morgana stopped walking.

She was in love with Merlin.

She remembers having a small crush on him after the whole Mordred situation but he had let her down about her magic and then poisoning her was the last step to push any thoughts of a relationship to the back of her mind.

_I didn't want to. _

Merlin had said them words to her when she had got back after she was 'kidnapped' by Morgause. She didn't realise that Morgause was trying to push her away from Merlin and Uther. She had very little loyalty to Uther because of her magic but she wanted to understand why Merlin tried to kill her. Morgause had explained to her that it was because she possessed magic.

But now she knew that Merlin did as well. So why did he do it?

_Why was everyone falling asleep but not me? Even Merlin looked like he was going to go to sleep so it couldn't have been her magic keeping her awake. Gaius never gave her something. If he is Emrys, his magic is stronger than hers so it couldn't be the strength of the magic. What did Morgause do?_

Morgana knew that she was missing something but didn't have to courage to ask Merlin to come back to explain it.

Morgana had the Pendragon stubbornness and pride. She wasn't going to lower them for the servant.

But every time he looked at her or gave her his goofy grin or hugged her, it made her feel … well feel normal.

Her life had been a whirlwind and Morgana loved the normality that Merlin brought to her life.

It was if they were meant to be together.

Morgana returned to her hovel to see Agravaine's horse outside.

Morgana groaned.

She had been sending him away every time he turned up but she knew that soon she would have to talk to him.

She took a deep breath and walked in.

"Milady." Agravaine said

Morgana just watched him. Why did he always call her milady? She knew that was what she was but she didn't want it from him. She wanted to be called Morgana. Milady reminded her of being a ward under Uther's reign and she wanted to get as far away from that person as possible.

But she knew that Agravaine was traditional and wouldn't call her anything but Milady.

She wanted Merlin back.


	15. Meeting

_We are halfway now :)_

_caldera - I know but it is something that good to get into. It also helps me remember to reply to guest reviews as well. Well I think we will see this chapter. Wink wink nudge nudge._

* * *

><p><strong>Meeting<strong>

Morgana couldn't concentrate.

She was still thinking over the things she thought in the forest.

She loved Merlin and wanted him back with her.

She hoped that he felt the same way because together they could rule the world.

Yet could she ever really trust him again. She had trusted him with her deepest secret and he hadn't told her his.

But there must have been something stopping him.

"So milady when are you going to the Southerns?" Agravaine asked turning to her.

Morgana could see that Agravaine was talking but she didn't want to listen to him she just ...

"I want Merlin back." Morgana said.

Agravaine tried to not make his face fall but he knew he would fail.

"I'm sorry. You want that liar back. All he ever has done is betray you. Look he is even Emrys. He is your doom." Agravaine stood in front of her and took her hands. "You need to be surrounded by the people that will respect you and have their trust. Morgana you always know that you will have mine. Are you sure you will always have Merlin's?"

Morgana pulled her hands out of his grasp. "Of course I will. He is bounded to me until death."

Morgana turned away from Agravaine. She needed Merlin back even if it meant going to Camelot herself to get him.

"Morgana what has got into you? You have become soft." Agravaine said.

"I AM NOT SOFT." Morgana shouted, turning back towards him.

"Then why do you want that lair back?"

"We don't have to trust him but Arthur does. He will get more secrets out of Arthur than you ever will. Arthur is fond of the boy." Morgana said.

_And so are you._ The voice said in Morgana's head.

She wanted to shout that it wasn't true but it was. She had become attached to Merlin and it had reminded her of better times leading her to become soft.

What was Merlin turning her into?

"I still want you to bring him with you the next time you come." Morgana said.

"And if I refuse?" Agravaine said standing his ground.

"I will get him myself from Camelot."

Agravaine glared at her. "I will not allow you to do this to yourself. He will betray you over and over again. You cannot trust him or use him. I will be the only one you can trust."

"Then I will get him myself."

Morgana started to walk towards the door. Her thoughts were killing her and she just needed to see Merlin.

Agravaine blocked the door before she could leave.

"Going to Camelot will be signing your own death certificate."

"I have done it once before. Anyway Camelot may be the strongest of the five kingdoms yet they employ the dumbest guards. They cannot see any further than the end of their noses. I will be careful."

Agravaine studied her for a second. "Are you sure he hasn't enchanted you? Are you the one under his power not him under yours?"

Morgana knew what he was doing. Agravaine was trying to put doubt in her mind but it wasn't working.

"I am sure he is under my spell. Now I am a high priestess of the old religion, you will step aside."

Agravaine remained where he was.

"I will tell him. I don't want you risking your life for some servant."

Both of them tried to stare the other down.

Morgana in the end gave up and nodded. She hoped that he would but she knew Merlin would collect herbs nearly every day, it was just finding him which would be the problem.

Agravaine wasn't going to tell him. He had to get her to trust him and get away from Merlin.

_What is it with Morgana and Arthur? Are they both in love with the servant?_

* * *

><p>Agravaine was cursing as he left the hovel.<p>

He needed some way to stop Morgana from getting into Camelot and Merlin getting out.

He would have to lie to Arthur and say that he had heard from some travellers that Morgana was building an army, getting ready to attack.

Arthur would then have to double the guard. that would stop her from getting in.

He would also have to mention that the guards are uesless.

Agravaine hated to do this but needed to.

He couldn't lose her to a servant.

* * *

><p>Merlin had seen Agravaine return.<p>

He sat against the window looking down on the whole of Camelot.

He couldn't sleep so went to watch the night.

Merlin looked towards his bed. The magic book laid open.

He had tried to find a spell to turn him into a bird or something so that he could listen to what Morgana had to say but Gaius' old book was … well very basic in terms of magic.

Merlin knew that he had surpassed the skills needed for this book years ago.

No Merlin needed something more challenging. That's what Merlin hoped when he returned to Morgana.

He couldn't heal well so with her teaching he could master everything. So that if there ever was a time he could look after his mistress.

He heard someone flipping through pages of a book.

"You know, this book isn't for the likes of us."

Merlin turned from Camelot back to his bedroom.

He was surpirsed to see her there.

"Morgana I'm..."

"Shut up Merlin." Morgana said make herself at home in his small room.

Morgana looked up at him.

The moonlight hit all his best features, showing them off more.

"Come down so we can talk."

Merlin slid off the window sill and sat on the table.

Morgana had taken his only chair and he didn't wish to be too far from her.

"Firstly I need to apologise to you. I shouldn't have reacted in that way towards you. You were only tell me what you knew."

Merlin sighed. "Yet I should have told you when you came to me about your magic. Gaius stopped me."

"Suppose."

Morgana took Merlin's hand in hers.

"Come back to me Merlin. I need you. I cannot trust Agravaine like I use to. I blame you for that but you are more valuable to me than he is." Morgana subconsciously started stroking his hand. "Don't make me beg because I won't."

Merlin smiled. "How did you get in?"

Morgana smiled. "Don't mention Camelot's security to Arthur. I like being able to sneak in and out without being seen."

"I won't as I won't want anything to happen to you."

They sat in silence as Morgana continued to stroke his hand, slowly making her way up his arm.

"I will never be the person I was." Merlin said starring at the wall.

"I know. I know better than anyone that the darkness changes people. I mean look at me now."

Morgana wished that he would just look at her now. She was worried that she had scared him off.

"I am not the man you fell in love with." Merlin said.

Morgana opened her mouth to say something then he turned to her.

"But nor are you the woman that I fell for."

Morgana could help but smile. It didn't matter how he found out about her feelings, it felt great to know that he felt the same way. No they weren't the same people they were a year ago. Too much had happened that changed that. But to know that his feelings for her didn't waver felt amazing.

She knew that there was always something different about him and maybe that's what attracted her to the little clumsy manservant.

Merlin rested his hand on to hers.

"Will you come back to me?" Morgana said looking into his cobalt eyes.

"Oh Morgana I never left."


	16. Darkness

_Back to Merlin's head._

_Reply to reviews:_

_Sire-wehn - He is slimy but he will be getting what is coming for him soon._

* * *

><p><strong>Darkness<strong>

The poison sneak up on Merlin.

"How are you doing it?" Merlin turned around.

"Doing what?"

Merlin hadn't a clue what he was talking about.

"Taking over in certain places. You are a creature of love and as much as I love your loving nature, it's becoming annoying."

"Taking over? I am not taking over."

"So what was all the 'I am not the same man you fell in love with, but you're not the woman I fell in love with'?"

Merlin stopped._ I thought that. Why did I say it if the poison was in charge?_

"IF I KNEW THAT I WOULDN'T ASK YOU!" The poison screamed at Merlin.

He calmed down. "Why are you so stubborn? Just lose already."

"Why would I do that?" Merlin said. "Why would I want to lose? I have the upper hand here. I can still win this because I have something that you don't have. I have feelings and I want to save my friends. You don't care who you hurt along the way as long as you get your goal."

Some realisation came over Merlin.

"I have control of the feelings." He muttered.

"What did you say?"

Merlin looked into the black pessimistic eyes of his counterpart. It just made him feel cold.

"You don't know love. You are a creature of dark magic, of course you aren't going to know love. I do. As you said I am a creature of love. I am in control of the feelings section." Merlin smiled widely. "And there is nothing you can do about it."

The poison stepped down.

"Every time I have seemed to take over is when it has something to do about feelings. I showed Morgana my magic because for her feeling of trust I had to be honest with her. Just now we were talking about our feelings and how she wants me back. You think that the darkness has taken her and for a while so did she but she is like me, she is a creature of love that has been made to hate. Agravaine calls her weak but she is strong."

The poison smiled. "But love is a weakness. Love is the greatest weakness known to man."

"But love is light and hate is the darkness. Without darkness there can be no light, without war there can be no peace and without hate, there can be..." Merlin stopped and licked his lips. "...no love."

"What are you saying?"

Merlin looked at the man and wondered how they could be the same person.

"Sometimes when I talk to you, I feel as though I am talking to Arthur. There is a little bit of good and bad in everyone. You need that balance."

Merlin remembered the dragon's words.

_But I fear that your futures are now joined forever. She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love._

"Futures are joined together." The poison whispered.

Merlin carried on. "This was meant to happen. I was meant to help Morgana but not like this."

The poison laughed. "No the dragon wanted you to kill her. She is only the darkness to your light because you weren't strong enough to stop her."

Merlin stopped and thought over that.

The poison continued. "The only way out of this is to kill the body."

Merlin looked up. "And what good is that going to do? We have gained her trust and she confines in us. If we were to die suddenly then it would kill her. She wouldn't trust Agravaine because she will believe that he had something to do with it."

The poison got bored of Merlin and shot a spell at him.

Merlin gasped as he hit the ground.

"What was that for? For once I thought that we could have a civilised conversation."

"I am darkness." The poison said coming into Merlin's view. "I don't do civilised conversations."

"Bindan sé lichoma toweard sé flor.*" The poison said.

Merlin struggled to get off the floor.

"What have you done?" He said looking up.

"You're not moving anywhere. If you get it by the amount of lights then you aren't getting any more."

Then there was a surge of power.

"Well I hate to leave you but I need to go and take over this body. Hope you don't struggle to much as I want to hurt you even more. I want to burn the heart out of you."

The poison left.

Merlin closed his eyes.

_He said 'Bindan sé lichoma toweard sé flor.*'. That means bind body to floor. Opposite of that would be unbind body from floor which is anbindan mín lichoma fram sé flor**._

"Anbindan mín lichoma fram sé flor.**" Merlin started to chant.

Only after the tenth time was Merlin successful.

"Anbindan mín lichoma fram sé flor.**" He shouted as loud as he could.

Merlin could still feel the power and started to run. He knew he wasn't going to bet the poison there but he had to try.

Every time he took a step closer to the light, hope filled his heart a little bit more.

He couldn't have been far, he swear he could see it when the power left the atmosphere.

Merlin stopped.

He couldn't win this playing the game like he was at the moment.

He had to start playing the poisons rules.

"Oh if you want to play a game, then let's play. The game is on."

Merlin grabbed a stick and cleared a patch of dirt.

He started writing down all the spells that he knew to defeat a person with.

_Would the spell I used on Sigar work? That was used to release his soul from my though, this is something that is pumping through my veins. I don't think it will be so easy get rid of this tormentor._

* * *

><p>* bind the body to the floor<p>

** unbind my body from the floor


	17. Creep

**Creep**

Merlin woke up with a smile on his face.

Morgana didn't hate him for what he had done and they were well on their way to repairing their relationship.

Merlin thought over what was said last night.

Morgana had never put down the fact that she loved him and to Merlin this felt great.

He knew he was going to have a goofy grin on all day but he couldn't help it.

"Morning Gaius." He said as he left his room.

Gaius caught straight onto Merlin's mood. "What have you done?"

Merlin sat down and looked up at Gaius. "Me? Done something? What makes you think that?" He finished it off with a smile.

"That smile makes me very suspicious."

"It shouldn't. I am back, Gaius. I have managed to destroy the poison. Do I need any other reason to be happy?"

Gaius face dropped then turned into a smile. "I knew you could do it my boy." "

I just had to get close to Morgana to work out what had happened to me then I looked through her books to find out how to reverse it. It was easier enough. I mean how could something so dark take over the light."

Gaius smiled. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back."

Gaius turned around, just missing Merlin's eyes turning black.

* * *

><p>Merlin walked to Morgana's that night.<p>

He didn't want Agravaine knowing that Morgana had seen him. Well it was more Morgana but he could understand why. The guy had tried to kill him a number of times.

The walk was a long one but it was one that Merlin enjoyed.

He thought over all the words that Morgana had said to him. They were words of love and the want for him back.

He had never really felt wanted before, even in Ealdor. Everybody else's hate for him seemed to way out the want of him mother and Will.

Will was too young to die and it was because of Merlin's what would his mother think of him if she could see him now.

She would be disappointed with him. But would she be more disappointed if she found out that he made Morgana who she is?

Arthur was a good man and the number of times that Morgana said that he was a better man than his father, had obviously left her. He was a better man and Merlin still had to protect him.

"_Merlin" _

The words were screamed through his head.

Merlin looked up and saw the clearing in front of him.

He knew that he wasn't far from the entrance to the valley of the fallen kings but it meant going through this clearing if he didn't want to add another hour to his journey.

He had to go through it at any cost. "

_What have you done Merlin?"_

Merlin couldn't see the Great Dragon so took his chances and ran.

"_Are you trying to run away from me Merlin?"_

Merlin had made it not a quarter of the way through when a fire ball was aimed at him. He only just managed to dodge it.

"_Destiny has changed. What have you done?"_

Another fire ball came down when he didn't reply again. "

_Merlin, you are trying my patience. I cannot allow you to see her. This has got to stop."_

When Merlin was halfway across the dragon landed.

"Tell me Merlin what have you done?" Merlin looked up at the beast.

"What is it to you? I didn't call you." Killgharrah didn't look impressed. "

You have upset destiny."

Merlin's eyes turned black. "No I haven't. I may have infested this body but Morgana was the one to put it in. She didn't know the effect it would have on the great Emrys. For someone so strong you held him back old friend."

"I am no friend of yours." Killgharrah said.

"So you admit that you were holding Emrys back. We were friends once. We were born at the same time." Killgharrah stood there.

"Let me through and maybe I will be gentler with the young warlock. I still need him. His love for Morgana is very … very pleasant. Well especially as she feels the same way. Together we will rule the world."

The dragon remained quiet.

"Something got your tongue."

Killgharrah rose up in the air.

"I hope you are happy. You are going to destroy Albion."

"Oh no Killgharrah." Merlin said as his eyes changed back. "We will make it."

The dragon flew away and Merlin ran across the clearing. He had wasted a lot of time due to the dragon.

* * *

><p>Morgana paced back and forth.<p>

Agravaine thought that she was thinking but she was waiting for Merlin.

He had promised her that he would be here.

_What if he couldn't get out of Camelot? What if he got lost? I wouldn't put it past him. He can trip over his own feet. What if he has? What if he has got into the hands of bandits? What if …_

Morgana's thoughts were disturbed but the door opening. "

Sorry, Arthur needed me for every job under the sun before I could leave."

Morgana smiled at Merlin. "Just glad you could be here."

Agravaine stood up. "What is he doing here?"

Morgana turned to him. "He cannot be trusted. I know that now. But Arthur won't tell you all his secrets. I told you when we captured Merlin before I placed the fomorroh in him, that Arthur was fond of the boy. Arthur will tell Merlin everything. You can only get a limited amount of information."

Agravaine glared at Merlin.

"Right so we will put the Lancelot plan into place next. Arthur is strong at the moment and we need to weaken him."

Merlin cleared his throat.

Agravaine hardened his gaze.

"Merlin?" Morgana said.

"Arthur went out shopping today. You know him better than me and I know that he only goes into town to go to the blacksmiths and he would usually send me to do that. So I followed him. He went to a goldsmith."

Morgana chuckled. "So he plans on marrying Gwen."

Agravaine moves his gaze to Morgana.

It was never Gwen, it was always the serving girl as Merlin was the serving boy. No names made it easier to detach from past feelings and memories.

"It seems so."

Agravaine spoke before Merlin could. "Then we should put the plan into action as soon as possible. Preferably before he asks for her hand."

"No wait for him to." Merlin said.

Agravaine walked up to Merlin until they were less than a meter apart.

"Why? What good will that do?" "

Arthur will want a celebration like his father did for his mother. You must remember it, Gaius told me you were part of it. A jousting competition. Wait until then, make Lancelot one of the participants. Surprise not only Gwen but Arthur as well."

Morgana felt the tension in the room.

"Good Merlin, you can leave now."

Merlin turned to Morgana and nodded before swiftly leaving.

Merlin could see that Agravaine had been watching them as the cloth over Morgana's windows were pulled over to one side. He watched as Agravaine had done to him.

"Why did you do that?" Morgana said to Agravaine.

"You cannot trust him!" Agravaine shouted at her.

"I do not trust him. I am asking him for information." Morgana said back.

Agravaine advanced on her. "You are letting your guard down. You called the serving girl Gwen. You have let your emotions take hold and it is all because of him. You are stronger than this."

Morgana backed away until she hit the wall however it meant Agravaine was almost on top of her.

"I want you to leave." Morgana said as her strength was leaving her.

"No, I should have done with ages ago."

Agravaine pushed himself against her and kissed her roughly.

Morgana could feel him pulling up the skirts of her dress but didn't know how to stop him.

Morgana closed her eyes as she felt so out of control at that moment.

Then her body got lighter and colder.

Morgana opened her eyes to see the back of Merlin.

"What do you think you are doing?" Agravaine bellowed at him.

Morgana could see that Merlin had tensed slightly at his words.

"I think that you should do as she says and leave." Merlin said calmly.

Morgana moved away from the wall and stood a little to the right. She wanted to see.

Agravaine could see Morgana enough to speak to her.

"Are you going to allow him to speak to me like that? I am a lord."

Morgana was going to answer but she could tell that Merlin would say everything she needed to.

"Are you going to speak like that to her? She is a lady and my mistress." Merlin stepped forward so that he was invading Agravaine's personal space but also hiding Morgana again. "If you ever try something like that again, I will annihilate you. Got that?"

Merlin did have to show any of his power before Agravaine thought it best to leave.

Morgana saw Merlin relax.

"Thank you."

Merlin turned to look at her smiling."No problem. Are you alright?"

Morgana sighed. "You would probably see through me won't you?" "

Maybe."

"Stay with me please." Morgana said as the last of her strength left her.

Merlin walked to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Of course I will. Morgana, I promise that I will always be here to protect you no matter what."

Morgana smiled in Merlin's arms but didn't wish to say anything. The way that she was hugging him showed her thanks.


	18. Lancelot

**Lancelot**

Merlin finished lighting the last candle.

He wanted to light them all by magic but he knew it was too dangerous to do it.

Everything seemed perfect. Except Merlin felt sad.

He had gone with Morgana to go and ask the Dochraid for help with the coin. But the Dochraid had told him to away and that he was no friend of Morgana or the Old Religion.

Merlin had told Morgana that it was fine and he should be getting back to Arthur anyway.

He could tell that she didn't want him to leave.

Merlin could hear Gwen's laughs from up the street.

Why couldn't he have the happiness that they had?

They could be free and live with their power and love and yet Merlin had to hide everything to remain alive.

Merlin slipped out of the back door and when to the window.

Arthur pulled Gwen in to her home and removed the blindfold.

He was pleased that his idea of the candles worked and that Merlin hadn't accidentally burnt down her house in the process of lighting all the candles.

Arthur took Gwen's hands and led her to a chair and knelt down in front of her.

"Guinevere, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" Arthur said not able to take his eyes off of Gwen.

Gwen smiled brightly and bolted forwards, bring Arthur into a hug.

Arthur was confused by this response. "Is that a yes?"

Gwen pulled back and became her old bubbling self. "Oh sorry! Yes, yes. Yes."

Arthur smiles as wide as she is as he placed the ring on her first finger.

Merlin was glad that his friends were happy. He was still himself. But Arthur needed to be stopped and the only way to do that was to break his heart.

Merlin's eyes turned black.

* * *

><p>"How is he?" Merlin says as he enters the hovel.<p>

Morgana left Lancelot's side.

"He is learning fast. Soon he will be able to convince everyone he's the Lancelot that we all knew and loved. I thought I would enjoy moulding his mind but it has left me curiously sad. He was once so mighty and now he is nothing but a shade. I should be sorry to see him go."

Merlin smiled. "Maybe I could help? See we need Gaius to believe it as well. He believes that I am out of your control but we need to make sure of it."

Merlin walked and stood in front of Lancelot.

"If Gaius asks you, you know that I have magic and you will guard that secret with your life. You found out when the griffin attacked Camelot. If you need something else to say to Gwen so that she believes you more is that you would die for her 100 times over and that she told you that her feelings for you would never fade."

Lancelot nodded as if he knew what Merlin was talking about.

"Did she say that?"

Merlin turned to Morgana.

"Well she actually said as long as I live, my feelings for you will never fade."

Morgana looked at Merlin.

"What and then the next second she is all over Arthur?"

"Yep that led to Lancelot saying that his feelings didn't matter and that he wouldn't come between them. Then he told me to tell Gwen that she has changed me forever, but some things cannot be."

"Oh that's harsh. No wonder he gladly walked into the veil."

* * *

><p>Merlin watched as Arthur caught the decorated ring on his lance and took it to Gwen. He looked pleased with himself.<p>

"I've got to hand it to you. If nothing else, it's certainly an original engagement present." Merlin said catching Arthur's helmet and watching him dismount. "Well, as romantic gesture go, you could've given her flower or had a song written. But instead you give her two days of sweaty men knocking the sense out of each other."

Arthur had seemed to ignore most of what Merlin said. "Exactly as it should be. My father had a tourney before his wedding. It's tradition."

"So it's not even an original gesture."

Arthur looked towards Gwen. "I think my future wife understands."

Another rider came onto the field.

"Who on earth is that?" Arthur said.

Merlin smiled. "I have no idea."

The rider catches the ring and brings it to Gwen like Arthur did.

Then he pulled off his helmet.

"Lancelot." Arthur whispered as he turned to nod towards him and Merlin.

* * *

><p>The members of the round table and Agravaine sat round for dinner.<p>

They had all asked Lancelot for his story.

"I fear I remember very little after the moment I stepped through the veil. My story will not be as illuminating as I would like."

Arthur just smiled. "We're just please to see you. Pleased and amazed."

"I owe everything to the Madhavi people." Lancelot looked around at his friends. "When they found me, I was near death. Luckily for me, their customs dictate that they must give food and shelter to the needy." He sighed. "I was certainly that."

Merlin smiled. So far their plan had worked.

"Where did they find you?" Sir Leon questioned him.

"On one of the silk road passes, high in the Feorre Mountains."

"That's Cenred's kingdom."

"I travelled with them for many weeks, deep into the deserts of the south. Then slowly my strength returned. When I was able, I earned my passage the only way I know how. By the sword." Lancelot smiled. "Then I slowly made my way north." "You made your way home." Arthur said.

"Of course milord." Lancelot said.

"We can't thank you enough for what you sacrificed on the Isle of the Blessed. It will be remembered always."

Lancelot stood up. "I would like to propose a toast. Merlin, grab a drink as well."

Merlin poured himself a drink and could see Agravaine glaring at him. It wasn't going to work because Merlin held more power than he would ever dream of.

"To the people I hold most dear. To Camelot."

"To Camelot." They all said.

* * *

><p>Merlin met Morgana in the woods that night.<p>

"Everything going to plan?"

"Yes, they believed the story and we are well on our way of making Gwen fall in love with Lancelot again. Yet I fear that her love for Arthur may be too much."

Morgana smiled. "I have that sorted."

Morgana gave Merlin a bracelet. "Give this to Lancelot to give to Gwen and I am sure that we will see a change in Gwen's affections."

Merlin smiled back. "Are you sure you are okay?"

Morgana looked up at Merlin. "Of course. It was just a little shock you know."

"I meant it Morgana, I will never allow him to hurt you."

Morgana nodded before leaving.

* * *

><p>The tournament was over just as quickly as it started. It was Lancelot and Arthur in the finial and Lancelot had proven that he was a noble and loyal as he once was.<p>

Now Gwen was under Morgana's spell and going to meet Lancelot.

Merlin just had to get Arthur away from Agravaine.

"Arthur, Gwen wishes to see you quickly in the council chambers."

Arthur smiled. "Why?"

Merlin shrugged. "I have no idea just she said it was urgent and she wanted to see you alone."

"I am sure whatever you wanted to say to me uncle can wait, can't it?"

Agravaine sighed. "Of course."

Arthur walked towards the council chamber.

"My threat stands. If I see you anywhere near Morgana, I will not hesitate to kill you." Merlin said to the older man.

"Hmm … how would Arthur feel after he finds out that his own manservant killed his Uncle or had magic?"

"How would he feel if he found out his uncle had been consorting with his sister?" Merlin said with a smile.

For the first time someone noticed Merlin's eyes go black.

"The fomorroh has made you into something wonderful." Agravaine said. "Leave Morgana. Together we can rule to world."

"If I rule the world, it would be with Morgana at my side." Merlin said before he left towards to council room.

* * *

><p>Arthur was heartbroken.<p>

Merlin was scared to leave him due to his anger. But this was an anger that Merlin had helped create.

"Arthur, why don't we go out and train? It will take your mind off it."

Arthur remained starring out of the window.

"You are dismissed Merlin."

"Arthur..."

"I HAVE DIMISSED YOU MERLIN! NOW LEAVE!"

Merlin bowed and left towards the physician's chambers.

"You lied to me." Gaius said when Merlin entered.

"Sorry Gaius."

"You said that you were back. I believed you."

At that point, Merlin noticed Agravaine sitting there.

"Don't threaten me Merlin. I will get my revenge somehow."

"Yes, okay I get your point." Merlin said walking towards Agravaine. "But who has Morgana? I cannot allow you to take her from me."

Agravaine stood up and stared at Merlin. "What has it done to you? I liked the annoying servant that thought I was behind everything."

Agravaine left.

"You lied to me Merlin."

Merlin turned his attention back to Gaius. "I had to. I couldn't tell you that Morgana had visited me and forgave me for not telling her about my magic."

Merlin stormed into his room, wondering what stunt Agravaine would pull next.


	19. Druid

**Druid**

Morgana studied the map. She was planning her route to the Southerns when she and Merlin thought the time was right.

But her mind kept wondering to the certain warlock that had stolen her heart for the second time.

She had little idea how to act around him and could tell that he was having the same problem.

Morgana want to tell Merlin what she felt but she was scared if she was making something out of nothing.

She knew Merlin had a crush on her when he had just started. Well she knew that most of the males in Camelot had a crush on her. But it was the way that Merlin trusted her that she felt that his feelings for her must be genuine.

Morgana folded up the map and placed it to one side. Once she got onto these thoughts, she couldn't think of anything else but Merlin.

He had told her what Agravaine had done and said to him.

This just made her angrier at him.

Morgana was glad that he didn't try his luck and return because Morgana would have been ready for him this time and he wouldn't be leaving alive. Or in one piece to think about it.

It still scared her that he could have done that to her when she was most vulnerable.

As she had exposed herself and had to look after Morgause, who was slowly dying, Morgana had to find another way to get information from Camelot.

She had known that Arthur had only one remaining uncle after Uther had killed the other one in a duel. Getting Agravaine one her side wasn't too difficult, he actually wanted to help her.

He could have pulled a stunt like that when she was staying at his house or when she was a wreck after sacrificing Morgause.

Merlin wouldn't have been there to stop him. Nobody would have been able to stop him. Morgana wasn't strong enough to push him away so would have let him do whatever he pleased.

The thought itself made Morgana shiver.

Merlin had told her more about Emrys.

She now knew that it was a name that the druids called him and that they believed him to be their saviour. That's why they wouldn't tell Morgana anything because they knew that she would have tried to stop him from being her doom.

She had spent a number of weeks towards the end of Morgause's life trying to find a cure for her and asking around. Morgause just kept whispering Emrys which made Morgana suspicious.

When the Cailleach told Morgana that Emrys was her destiny and her doom, she feared him for a while.

Morgana couldn't find the confidence that Morgause had in her until a few weeks after Morgause's death but she had lost that again after her magically fight with Emrys.

He had haunted her dreams and Morgana could feel relief from know who he was.

But now the images had changed to ones of Merlin in the old man's place.

She dreamed Merlin standing next to her as she sat on the throne, in front of her was Arthur, Gwen, Leon, Gwaine, Percival and Elyan. They were all going to be executed but Merlin had whispered in my ear "Let's make them suffer some more."

The dream had ended there but Morgana took this to be a good sign. Merlin was now going to be by her side no matter what.

Would her feelings destroy that or strengthen it?

There was a knock on the door. Morgana looked up and realised how late it was.

It must have been Merlin.

She got up and sighed.

Morgana opened to door saying. "Merlin, how many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to knock?"

"It might help if I am not Merlin."

Morgana finally took in who was at her door.

"Mordred, you came?" Morgana said smiling.

"Of course. When I found out that you wanted to see me I set out straight away to find you."

Morgana stopped for a second. "Oh please come in."

Mordred ducked through the door and entered.

"What happened for you to be living in a hovel?"

"Haven't you heard of my takeover of Camelot?"

Mordred shock his head and sat down.

"Well after I was 'taken', you must have heard of that."

"Of course, we had to be very careful as Uther was searching every forest for you."

Morgana shock her head and continued. "Well after that I returned to Camelot but I wasn't the same person. Morgause had taught me magic and we had a plan to remove Uther from the throne. When it was found out that Uther was my father our plan changed to making me queen. We managed to achieve that but Arthur came back and managed to take it back."

"Morgause?" Mordred said.

"She is my sister. She was badly injured by Gaius of all people. She asked me to sacrifice her at Samhain."

Mordred just nodded.

"So what have you been up to?" "

Trying to stay alive." Mordred said laughing.

Silence then fell between them.

"Why did you call me Merlin and why did you want to see me?"

"I don't any more. I wanted to find out about a man named Emrys. My sister was whispering his name when she was dying and I wanted to know why. After I sacrificed her, the Cailleach told me that Emrys was my destiny and he was my doom. I wanted to find him so I could stop that from happening."

"And Merlin?"

Morgana swallowed. "He is ..."

"Loyal to Arthur so why would he come and see you?"

"I used the fomorroh on him. I didn't realised then that he … I didn't realise who he was."

Mordred sat forward. "So the coward finally told you of his magic and that he was Emrys."

Morgana just looked at Mordred. "Why do you say it like that?"

"He could have taught you. With his power and yours together, you could have taken down Camelot in an instant. But he was a coward and sent you away like everyone else. You are special Morgana and I thought Emrys was too."

"But Mordred, he is on my side now. He is being controlled by the fomorroh. He isn't loyal to Arthur and Camelot any more, he is loyal to me."

Mordred stood up and stared at her. "Do you really believe that?"

Morgana was going to reply when Merlin walked in.

"Morgana, Arthur has freed the druids. Some spirit took over Elyan …" Merlin trailed off. He looked between Morgana and Mordred. "Sorry, I should have knocked. I didn't realise. I will come back later."

Merlin started to back out of the door.

"Merlin, stay." Morgana said. "I asked Mordred to come ages ago. What were you saying about Arthur freeing the druids?"

"We had stumbled on a druid shrine. I told them not to touch or disturb anything but Elyan didn't listen to me. He had been taken over a spirit and it was after Arthur. Arthur went back to the shrine and … he practically said that he was sorry and wouldn't allow anything like this to happen again."

Mordred looked up at Merlin. "Why was it after Arthur? Shouldn't have been Uther?"

"It would be hard to go after Uther as he is dead but no Arthur had led this certain patrol and due to youth and inexperience, he couldn't stop the guards from slaughtering all of them."

Morgana smiled. "How about we test Arthur's promise?"

Both Merlin and Morgana looked at Mordred.

"What?" He said.


	20. Camelot

_Reply to reviews:_

_The Lady Geek - Well you can see ..._

* * *

><p><strong>Camelot<strong>

Mordred grumbled next to Merlin.

"Why me? I don't understand."

Merlin smiled. "Morgana trust you. Who would be better to see if Arthur has changed his thinking?"

Mordred noticed that Merlin's eyes were lighter than they had been before.

"What has happened to you Emrys?"

Merlin turned to the teenager. "To be honest, I don't know. I don't want to hurt Arthur but destiny has changed now. Morgana has unintentionally made me her servant. I am bound to her until death."

"The fomorroh did this to you?"

Merlin just hummed.

"I can notice that you are in control. Your eyes are lighter."

Merlin smiled. "I am fighting a losing battle. The poison can takeover faster than me. It's only a matter of time before I am totally under its control."

"Yet you can still get through."

Merlin turned back to the track. "Only when talking of emotions can I return."

"We aren't talking of emotions." Merlin stopped.

"No we aren't. I will ask him about that."

Mordred stood in front of the older man.

"But you are thinking of her."

Merlin gave a look of confusion. "What?"

"You are thinking of Morgana so you are getting through. How stupid can I be?"

"Mordred ..."

"No Merlin. Why couldn't you just leave her?"

"Leave her?"

"Her emotions would have led this land back to the glory that it once was."

"Arthur is meant to do that."

Mordred laughed. "Arthur, bring magic back. How can he when he hates the thing that brought him into the world?"

Merlin swallowed.

"I know Merlin. Your dirty little secret. You have many of them, don't you?"

Merlin started walking again.

"Come on Merlin, why didn't you allow him to know the truth of his birth?"

He turned around. "Because he would have never forgiven himself if he had killed his own father. How was he meant to be the great king prophesied if he cannot live with himself?"

"Maybe he wasn't?" Mordred said walking past Merlin.

Merlin stood and closed his eyes.

He could feel the magic in the forest and it calmed him.

He couldn't allow Mordred to get the upper hand of him again.

* * *

><p>Merlin found Arthur on the training fields.<p>

"Merlin! Where the hell have you been you idiot?"

"Sorry sire. Gaius asked me to get this herb that only flowers at midnight. Unfortunately I was too late for it and I got lost. I have been wandering in the forest all night until I found Mordred."

Arthur looked at Merlin suspiciously before the look went.

"Well as you have had such a bad night, you can clean out the stables, clean and polish my boots, repair my armour, clean my armour and tidy my room."

Merlin sighed. "You are so sympathetic milord." He said in a sarcastic way.

Merlin walked off toward the stables.

"Mordred, welcome to Camelot. You can stay here for as long as you like." Arthur said.

"Really sire?" Mordred said.

Arthur put his hand down on the man's shoulder. "Of course."

Arthur said and started to walk off.

Then he stopped. "How are you with a sword?"

* * *

><p>Mordred was now Arthur squire and had been for two months.<p>

He still didn't understand why Arthur chose him.

Maybe because he believed it his fault for being driven from Druid camp to camp. Maybe he was trying to write his father's wrongs.

But Mordred liked it. It also meant that he could keep a closer eye on Merlin.

Arthur had promised to make Mordred a knight once he was of age.

Mordred had only been to Morgana twice in all the time he has been in Camelot but he knew that Merlin went to her every night.

At the moment Arthur had kept his promise to the spirit but Mordred was worried if it got out that he was the Druid boy that Uther was looking for in Camelot.

Would the truth of how he escaped come out?

Arthur, Morgana, Merlin and Gwen all helped him escape or had some part in hiding him. That reminds him, where is Gwen?

Morgana wouldn't have killed her and he had heard of her engagement to Arthur. So where is she?

* * *

><p>Merlin returned to his room after a day of chores.<p>

It was too late to go to Morgana and be back in time for Arthur's breakfast in the morning.

He opened to door to his room and stopped.

"We need to talk Merlin."

Merlin closed his door.

"So glad that you have made yourself at home Mordred."

Merlin shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the back of his door. "

Where is Gwen?"

Merlin turned to the squire.

"I'm sorry."

"Where is Gwen? I heard of her engagement to the king but I haven't seen her in the time that I have been here."

Merlin cleared his throat and went to the bowl of water on the side.

"She has been banished."

"Banished?"

Merlin waved his hand over the bowl and steam started to come off of it.

"I'm sorry Mordred but she had to go. I knew that Arthur would never be able to execute her so banishment was the only way."

Mordred stood up. "Merlin, how could you do something like that?" "

You were the one who wanted me to leave Morgana alone because her emotions were holding her back of bring this land back to its glory."

"Yes Morgana, not you."

Merlin stood so that he was right in Mordred's face.

"I am meant to bring back to old ways like Morgana. Destiny, up until now, has asked us to go for the same goal separately. Why can it not be achieved when we are together?"

Merlin took a step back.

"You want me away from her because you see me as a rival."

"Every man around Morgana is my rival."

Merlin just sat down on the table.

"Fine, I will keep my distance from her. But when I make her queen we will see who she prefers."

* * *

><p>Morgana was in the physician chambers.<p>

Merlin and Mordred were fighting over her.

She could never see herself with Mordred and that was for a number of reasons.

She just didn't see him in that way. He was like a son to her not a lover.

The other reason was that she couldn't see herself with anyone but Merlin now.

Merlin had said that he would keep his distance. She hoped that he would go behind Mordred's back with that one as she loved him visiting her.

Morgana decided it would be better if she left now. There was little point in talking to Merlin now as Mordred was in there.

She just hoped he would find the time to see her tomorrow.

Morgana turned around to leave but the bottom of her dress got caught on one of the benches and pulled it and Morgana down.

After a massive crash, Morgana used magic to leave.

* * *

><p>"What was that?" Mordred asked going for the door.<p>

The two magic users left the room to see bottles everywhere.

Gaius was standing in the middle of the room. He turned to the two dark haired men.

He sighed. "I thought you turning up wasn't a good sign."

Mordred walked towards the door.

"I would be more worried about him than me." He said as he passed the physician.

Merlin looked at the mess.

"I better clean this up."

Gaius just nodded and when back to bed. He didn't have the patience to deal with Merlin anymore and it broke his heart to do this, but he had to let Merlin go or otherwise he would risk losing him forever. Well he was going to lose him forever as he is never going to be the same person again.

Merlin grabbed a cloth and started picking up the pieced of glass. He looked over at the bench they were on and saw a little black cloth.

Merlin smiled. She had come to see him. But then his face dropped. Did she hear that he said that he would keep his distance?


	21. Queen

**Queen**

Mordred found Arthur talking to his Uncle.

He groaned. He knew it wasn't going to be easy getting tonight off as it was but now it was going to be harder.

"Sire." Mordred said.

Arthur smiled at him. "Come on Mordred. You don't need to call me Sire all the time. Merlin doesn't and I hope that my knights see me more as a friend than their leader."

Mordred saw Agravaine move at the mention of Merlin's name.

"Arthur, I have been put down for patrols tonight but I have only just found out that an old clan of mine are in the surrounding area. I was wondering whether I could have the night off to visit them. They don't stay places long and I don't wish to miss them."

Arthur nodded. "I will find some cover for you. Go and see your friends and family." He turned to his Uncle. "Are we done?"

Agravaine nodded. "Of course milord."

"Uncle, I am your nephew. You of all people don't have to call me by my title."

Arthur patted Mordred on the shoulder and left.

"Merlin is going to break him." Mordred said.

"I don't care what the servant does."

Mordred turned to the older man. "What happened? I heard that you were ..." He used hand gestures hoping that Agravaine knew what he was on about.

He looked up and down the halls.

"He is a monster. He has used Morgana against me." He said in a hushed voice.

"What has he done?"

Agravaine was going to reply when a servant came down the hall. Her eyes never left the floor.

"Merlin has made Arthur soft and now he is making Morgana soft as well. Calling him by his name and not his title isn't kingly. He hasn't had a good effect on the Pendragons." Agravaine carried on saying after the girl had gone. "You see how that servant was. That is how they are meant to be. Not giving you advise or becoming your Queen."

"Then we have to find a way of getting Merlin away from her. I agree with you. After he poisoned her, she had given up on her emotions but they have now come back. She cannot bring magic back when the light is starting to show again."

Mordred's eyes went wide.

"What is it?"

Mordred turned to Agravaine. "There was a prophesy among the druids that two of the great sorcerer would be the opposite of each other. The darkness to the light, hatred to love. If Merlin was the light but now has come dark, would that make Morgana turn to the light?"

"Merlin is Emrys. It could be why she is opening up."

"But why does Emrys come back in certain occasions?"

Mordred left Agravaine with that thought and moved on to thinking how he could make Morgana queen.

* * *

><p>Mordred paced in front of the hovel.<p>

If Morgana was to come out now she would ask him what he was doing.

He needed to get Morgana away from Merlin. It wasn't right that they were working together. It just made no sense.

He had an idea how to make Morgana queen but he knew that Merlin would have already come up with a plan.

If only he came sooner he could have stopped all of this.

Mordred sighed and turned to the door.

It was now or never.

* * *

><p>"Mordred we already have a plan in place." Morgana said to him.<p>

"Yes I know but I could try to gain some support from the knights."

Morgana sighed. "Do you really think that Arthur's knights would chose you over him? Mordred I understand what you are trying to do but don't. Merlin and I have a plan and we are going to put it in place soon."

"This is what I don't understand!" Mordred shouted at her. "He poisoned you. Your own kind poisoned you. Why do you have so much faith in him?"

"Because he is the one that has foiled all of mine and Morgause's plans. Who is going to do all the work behind the scenes if he is on my side?"

"See he has stopped you so many times. It shows that he isn't trustworthy."

"Oh yes and the last guy I put all my trust into pinned me to a wall so he could do as he pleased with me."

Mordred sighed. This wasn't going the way he wanted it to.

* * *

><p>Merlin stood outside smiling.<p>

He knew that Mordred would never get Morgana into his way of thinking.

Mordred was wasting his time.

He had overheard his conversation with Agravaine.

Merlin hadn't put them two together but he knew he would have to get Mordred to his way of thinking or lose him.

He didn't want the latter one due to Morgana seemed to enjoy Mordred's company as much as she did his.

Merlin had noticed that Mordred was keeping an eye on him and now it was time for the roles to reverse.

"Morgana please listen. There is something not right about this." He heard Mordred say.

Morgana sighed. "What isn't right?"

"Morgana you are meant to be Merlin's darkness to his light, the hatred to his love. The roles are reversing. You won't have the power or drive to make this happen."

He saw Morgana stand up straighter. "I will not have another person call me weak. Just because maybe Merlin has caused good memories of Camelot to come back doesn't mean I don't still stand for magic. I would have thought it would be a good thing for Emrys to be on my side but everyone seems to be against it."

"Whatever happens Merlin will still try to protect Arthur. It is his destiny. He cannot go against what the fates have planned out for him, nor can you. Emrys will be your downfall."

"Why does he need to be my downfall? We chose our own destinies."

"Morgana you cannot change fate." Mordred said trying. "These prophesies have been around for years. I even believe that they were made that the dawn of magic itself."

Merlin could tell that Morgana was trying to stay calm.

"I make my own path in life. Mordred we have a plan. Please be on my side with this."

Mordred didn't know where to look.

"I need to go before Arthur starts to worry. You know what he is like." Mordred said making it for the door.

Merlin darted towards his horse and took off.

He didn't hear the end of their conversation.

* * *

><p>"Mordred." Morgana said and waited for him to turn to her before finishing.<p>

Mordred turned to her.

"I need you on my side. I know that Merlin won't allow me to hurt Arthur. Sometimes I believe he is in love with him. I need someone that I can trust to give me the strength to kill him. The strength that my sister gave me. Please Mordred will you do that."

Mordred gave her a look.

"Merlin can be persuasive." Morgana said.

"I got to go." Was all that Mordred said before he left.

Morgana hoped that he would come around. He would be useful to her but also she liked having him around. It gave her a piece of mind that he was safe.

* * *

><p>Mordred knocked on Agravaine's door.<p>

He knew the lord was awake as he had seen him move about in his room when he came back to Camelot.

He answered it.

"Mordred."

"I am in. We need to get him away from her and as soon as we possibly can."

Agravaine smirked.


	22. Meaning

_Little surprise at the end_

* * *

><p><strong>Meaning<strong>

Morgana was thinking over that Mordred had said to her last night.

She hadn't gotten weaker but what he said about the darkness and light made some sense.

She had got kinder and she needed to stop that.

But then she started thinking about what Merlin said.

"_I don't expect you to understand, Morgana. You have no sense of duty, no sense of loyalty."_

If she was being honest with herself, she couldn't believe that those words came out of Merlin's mouth.

But he did have a point.

Did she really know what duty and loyalty meant?

Arthur and Gwen had been nothing but loyal to her and she had thrown that all away.

* * *

><p>"You alright Morgana?" Merlin said as he entered the hovel.<p>

Morgana looked down at what she was doing.

She was sitting there stroking her sister's magic book.

"Sorry, just thinking." Morgana said.

Merlin watched her for a little longer.

"Something is bothering you. A problem shared is a problem halved" Merlin said with a smile.

Morgana sighed. "What happens if you are the problem?" She looked at him.

Merlin was confused. "Why am I the problem?"

"Do you remember what you said to me when I had you tied up in here?"

Merlin smiled. "A lot of things where said while I was tied up in here. But you are thinking of when I said 'You have no sense of duty, no sense of loyalty', aren't you?"

Morgana lent forward towards Merlin. "I cannot help but think that you are correct. Do I really know the meaning of loyalty when I have pushed away the two most loyal people to me?"

"Gwen and Arthur?" Merlin asked.

Morgana nodded.

"You were scared of what they would think of you when they found out about your magic. I am exactly the same Morgana. I have tiptoed around that castle wondering whether anybody had found out about my magic. Thinking every guard I passed was going to arrest me. Even now with Uther dead, I am still worried. I know that Arthur is more lenient than his father but I cannot help but think he will sentence me to death."

"But would Uther kill his own daughter? I have thought about this over and over again. If I had revealed my magic, would he be able to kill me?"

Merlin swallowed. "In his heart maybe not but his council would ask for your execution. That is what happened to Arthur with Gwen. They were all asking for her execution … well it was more Agravaine but he is really the council."

Morgana smiled.

Merlin continued. "Just because you threw away loyalty when it was given, doesn't mean that you don't know the meaning. I have thrown away Arthur's loyalty …"

"Yes but you didn't have a choice did you?" Morgana interrupted. "I have made you do that due to the fomorroh. I just feel as though I was used by my sister."

Merlin sighed. "Maybe at one point you were but maybe it was because she thought that it was what you wanted. If you look at everything your sister did, it was all for you. She made you the queen of Camelot, she saved your life after I had thrown it away."

"Mordred told me that I was meant to be the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love. Is that true?"

"Yes, but the same … person that told me that has now told me that destiny has changed. We are making our own path Morgana. He also said that our destinies were joined together forever."

Merlin smiled and Morgana couldn't help but match it.

"Why is your smile so infectious?" Morgana says.

"Is it?" Merlin said, somehow smiling more.

"Yes it is. But I don't mind. I rather like your smile."

Merlin tilted his head to the side. "Oh you do. Well I like yours too. It's much better than your smirks."

"I don't smirk." Morgana said sitting back a little bit.

"Yes you do. Anytime you did something evil you would smirk. I also started calling you smrikgana."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, it was only going to be to Gaius but I kept it to myself."

Morgana lent forward again. "Any nicknames for anyone else?"

"Dollop head for Arthur, Aggravating for Agravaine or maybe Uncle Creep."

Morgana laughed.

"Actually I have a list under my bed of the nicknames for Arthur. I suppose he has one for me as well and uses the one that he has for a while."

"I think that what I miss about Camelot. You and Arthur. You two should just kiss already." Morgana said.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you two are obviously in love with each other."

"I think of Arthur more as an annoying older brother that needs the younger one to get out of trouble. Anyway I love someone else."

"Who?" Morgana said.

"Well let's see. She is very beautiful, with black raven hair like mine. She has these deep green eyes that whenever you look into them they seem different. She used to be treated like a princess and even though she isn't no more, she still holds herself like it. She continually surprises me and I made the mistake of letting her go."

Morgana looked into Merlin's eyes.

"You know what?"

"What?" Merlin said leaning in closer.

"I have always loved this guy that seemed as though he was different. He had raven hair like mine. He had these boyish looks that all the servants fell for but I have fallen more in love with his more manly looks as he has turned very handsome. He has these blue eyes that now thrill me every time they turn gold. His eyes always seem as though they are looking right into your soul, picking it apart. He hides in the shadows and does so much but never receives anything for it. And that is the reason why I love him so much."

Merlin had only just noticed how close they were and closed the gap between them, kissing her passionately.


	23. Disappearance

**Disappearance**

"MERLIN!" Arthur shouted down the corridor. "Where are you?"

He had been all around the castle but no one had seen him all morning.

"Uncle!" Arthur shouted when he saw Agravaine, jogging towards him. "You haven't seen my useless servant have you?"

"No Arthur, I am afraid I haven't. I have told you that you should get a new one. The boy seems to let you down time and again."

"I would be nowhere without Merlin." Arthur confessed to his Uncle. "I am going to ask Gaius if he is sure he hasn't seen Merlin then send out a couple of knights to see if they can find him. Knowing Merlin he has problem tripped over and knocked himself out."

Arthur left Agravaine.

Agravaine couldn't believe the affection that the Pendragons had for this servant.

He had suspected that Merlin was still going to Morgana but this was serious.

Agravaine had to stop this now. Mordred would have to do more later.

* * *

><p>Morgana woke up in Merlin's arms.<p>

She could hear his soft snores that told her that he was still asleep.

She thought over last night and believed that she had done the correct thing. It was just going to keep building up until it would become awkward to be around him.

But that is one of the reasons she wanted Merlin around.

He did remind her of the better times at Camelot but it also reminded her that she wasn't a black hearted witch, that she could still love.

She managed to get up without waking him.

She knew by now Arthur would notice his absence and it was too late for him to go back.

He could have a day off and think of some excuse. Well she would help him but after all that he done for Arthur, he needed more than a few minutes off.

Morgana couldn't help but be thankful that Merlin was still the gentleman that he always was.

It's not that she would have regretted going any further but it may have got in the way of their plans.

Morgana was preparing breakfast when Merlin wrapped his arms around her.

"Weren't you going to wake me? Your brother is going to be mad at me." Merlin whispered into her ear.

Morgana turned around in his arms.

"I think you deserve a day off."

"Oh do you now?"

"Yes and I don't think my brother will give it to you. We can have a nice day to ourselves. No Camelot and no stupid brother."

Merlin sighed. "Now as you put it like that. I think I will take that day off."

* * *

><p>Arthur sat in his study.<p>

He couldn't believe that Merlin was missing again.

But something didn't feel right and if Arthur thought about it, nothing had felt right since Merlin was taken by Morgana.

There was something about Merlin that had changed.

Arthur just thought that it was what Morgana had done to him but he knew that Merlin was stronger than that. All of the jokes about him being a coward were that, jokes.

Arthur could never put into words how brave he thought Merlin was and it was weird to think that this stranger had come into his life and changed it.

He used to be so arrogant and never thought of anyone else but himself.

Merlin had changed him. He wasn't a stranger any more, he was like one of the knights, a brother.

Arthur couldn't bear to lose Merlin, not again.

Morgana had tried to take one of the things that matter to Arthur. He wouldn't be surprised if the whole Lancelot thing had something to do with her as well.

Arthur was scared by what Morgana could have done to Merlin and without Gwen here to confine in, he felt alone in the situation.

Gaius hadn't been himself since Merlin rescued him and Arthur didn't want to worry the old physician any more than he had already.

Arthur thought about what Merlin said beforehand about his Uncle being a traitor.

Even if Arthur didn't want to see it, he couldn't rule his uncle out.

He couldn't believe how oblivious he had been.

Merlin still believed it and Arthur didn't want to believe that Merlin was sneaking out to see Morgana but it was always a nagging feeling in the back of his mind.

A knock at the door brought him from his thoughts.

"Come in." He shouted.

Arthur smiled once he saw Mordred enter.

"Mordred, what can I do for you?"

Mordred sighed. "Milord, I didn't want to tell you but I cannot allow this to happen."

Arthur lent forward. "Have a seat. What do you want to tell me?"

Mordred took the seat. "It's Merlin."

Arthur sighed. "Go on."

"He keeps meeting with Morgana in the woods. I think he has gone against Camelot after he discovered his magic."

Arthur started to laugh.

"What's so funny milord?" Mordred said not understanding what was funny about hat he said.

"Merlin, discovering he has magic. Mordred I know he confessed to it ages ago but that was to help a friend. Merlin doesn't have a magical bone in his body. He trips over the smallest of things. I think if Merlin had magic we would all know by now."

Mordred sighed. "But it is true."

Arthur got up and walked around the table.

"Mordred I am sure if Merlin had magic he would have told me. I would hope he would be able to tell me something like that."

Mordred looked down in defeat. "I am sorry for troubling you milord. I will leave you."

Mordred got up, bowed and left.

Arthur sighed heavily. He didn't want to believe it but what if it was true.

Mordred had now planted another seed of doubt in Arthur's mind.

* * *

><p>Mordred left the king's study and walked around the corner.<p>

"He didn't believe me. He thought I was joking."

Agravaine smiled. "Maybe not but I know Arthur. We had got him thinking. We have placed that seed of doubt in his mind. He has already asked me about Merlin."

Mordred sighed. "Just I was meant to help Morgana. This is all against destiny."

Agravaine looked interested. "Destiny? Tell me more."

* * *

><p>Mordred left Agravaine's chambers wondering whether he should have said all what he just said.<p>

He was now going back to the drawing board for his own plan.

He was going to get Morgana. He was going to be by Morgana's side when she took the throne.

* * *

><p>Agravaine smiled.<p>

He now felt one step further than everyone else now.

This was going to work in his favour.

* * *

><p>Merlin led Morgana towards a lake.<p>

Merlin had said that he would take Morgana away from the hovel as she looked as though she spent too much time there.

Morgana wanted to refuse but couldn't. He was right, it was time to get out more.

Where he took her was beautiful and everything was perfect until he said. "Do you want to meet someone?"

Morgana looked towards Merlin. "Depends on who I am meeting."

"She is someone very close to me and I want you to meet her so that you understand more."

Morgana sighed. "Of course, I will meet her."

Merlin stood up and brushed off his trousers.

He offered Morgana his hand, which she took.

"Now I must warn you but she might be a bit tetchy. You seem to have a big hate club."

Morgana looked at Merlin as he led her towards the lake. "Really?"

"Yep, I am pretty sure one of them would try and make the club. You biggest hater is a giant dragon."

Morgana smiled. "Well I hope I will never meet him then."

Merlin stopped and looked at her. "I won't allow it."

Merlin looked out at the lake. "Freya?"

Morgana didn't know what would happen till a voice came from the river.

"Merlin, so good to see you again. Hope you managed to use the sword to defeat Morgana."

Morgana turned to Merlin.

"Ummm, Freya, I wanted to introduce her to you."

Freya looked up to see the woman standing beside Merlin.

"Merlin, can I have a word?"

Morgana knew when she wasn't wanted. "I have things to get done at the hovel."

Morgana walked off. _How could I be so stupid?_


	24. Defending

**Defending**

Merlin watched Morgana go.

"You could have been a bit nicer." He said turning back to Freya.

"Merlin, you aren't meant to be by her side. You are meant to be by Arthur's."

"And what if I am sick and tired of waiting for him to become the man that will accept me for who I am? At least I don't have to hide who I am around her. In Camelot I am surrounded by friends that don't understand what I can do. She does."

Freya looked at Merlin. "What has she done to you?"

Merlin dragged his hand over his face in frustration. "Why does everyone think it was her? Yes she put the fomorroh in me but she didn't know what would happen."

Freya closed her eyes. "The fomorroh is deadly to you."

Merlin sat down. "I wouldn't say deadly. I still want to make sure Arthur is alive but I cannot wait for him to be the man that I hoped he would be. He will ever accept magic, not even in my wildest dreams. I cannot go along that path, not any more. I have lost so much and gained so little. Please Freya understand why I am letting it take over."

Freya sighed. "There may be a way that it could work."

"The blasted dragon found out and tried to fry me alive."

Freya smiled. "He believes there is only one way. I can see your way though. Only through understanding can magic return to the land. Morgana knows what it is like whereas I can share your fear in Arthur never truly understanding."

Merlin wanted to smile. "I have been so loyal. It will kill him, even more than Agravaine's betrayal."

"Merlin, Arthur loves you like a brother. Of course your betrayal will damage him."

"Maybe Morgana was right. Maybe at one stage I wanted to be more than a brother to Arthur."

Merlin zoned out and Freya thought better to ask him any questions.

* * *

><p>Morgana walked back to the hovel.<p>

She didn't want to leave and Merlin had warned her, but it still hurt what Freya had said.

Morgana didn't want to be the big bad witch, she wanted to be the saviour of magic.

Morgana stopped and slumped down the nearest tree.

She thought that today was going to be special due to them finally revealing their feelings for each other but it been ruined.

Morgana couldn't blame Merlin. He was obviously someone he cared about.

She closed her eyes.

She could have called herself stupid for this, she could even say that she was jealous.

_How did they know each other? Why did she hate her even though they haven't met? Did the other Merlin poison Freya against her? When did life become so difficult?_

Morgana stopped herself before her thoughts got too much and picked herself up.

She walked back to the hovel trying to forget Freya but was shocked to see Agravaine's horse outside her hovel.

Morgana sighed and entered.

_Merlin, Agravaine is here._

* * *

><p>Merlin's head shot up.<p>

"Merlin what is wrong?"

Merlin looked at the picnic stuff and got up to pack it up.

"Agravaine is at the hovel with her. I need to protect her from him."

"Agravaine?"

Merlin looked back to Freya when he had finished.

"Arthur's uncle. He has tried to take advantage of her once before. I cannot allow it again."

Freya sighed. "Merlin, please still follow your heart."

Merlin nodded. "For once, I think I am."

He smiled before he started running back to the hovel.

* * *

><p>Morgana opened the door to see Agravaine sitting in her chair.<p>

"Let's get to it. Where is your little pet?"

Morgana just glared at Agravaine.

"He is out for the moment. Why are you so worried?"

Agravaine stood up. "Sorry I have just had a king asking me where he is most of the day."

"Arthur won't let him go as easily as I had hoped."

Morgana moved off to the side. She now wished that she didn't go in the hovel with Agravaine there.

"The boy is of little use."

Morgana turned back to Agravaine. "He has been better use than you. At least I feel safe when I am with him."

Agravaine tried not to look hurt. "I didn't make you feel safe."

"Well what you did a few weeks ago shows why I have a need to be worried about you."

"You are turning this back on me."

Morgana stopped.

"So you want to talk about Merlin? Then let's talk about him."

* * *

><p>Merlin tried to control his breathing. It had been a long run from the lake to the hovel and for some reason it had exhausted him.<p>

He dropped everything at the edge of the forest and walked closer to the hovel.

He took his position by the window.

_I am here Morgana._

Merlin saw Morgana stop at that.

"So you want to talk about Merlin? Then let's talk about him."

Merlin had little idea of why she was going with this but he was only going to show himself if she needed help.

* * *

><p>Morgana sat down by the table.<p>

"He is unreliable and untrustworthy." Agravaine started off by saying.

"He is more trustworthy than you."

"His loyalty to Arthur …" Agravaine tried.

"Past loyalty." Morgana said interrupting. "He isn't loyal to him anymore."

"He still could be though."

Morgana glared at him. "Merlin will be of good use whatever. Yes he may have some loyalty to Arthur but that is the reason why I love him."

Agravaine looked at her. "The reason you love him?"

Morgana realised her mistake.

"You are blinded by love Morgana. He is no good and the sooner you realise that the better." Agravaine tried to argue.

"He is more use to me. He made me into the monster I am now but he is now showing me that he did believe in me. He has always believed in me. Arthur is as loyal to Merlin as he is to him. Arthur will tell Merlin his darkest secrets while you will only hear what he thinks you want to hear. Whether I love Merlin doesn't make any difference to the person I am. My judgement is blinded. I haven't felt this loved since my sister died, since my father died."

Morgana looked up at Agravaine.

"You have got to understand. We are creatures of love. I need to love as much as the next person."

* * *

><p>Merlin sighed thinking about the battle inside his head.<p>

She was right. They were made to love and realistically you cannot help who you fall in love with.

That's where the world was backwards.

Why couldn't people marry for love?

Merlin thought over the whole situation with Arthur and Gwen and felt sad. He was a part of their relationship breaking down and they may never see each other again. He knew when this was over he would have to say something. Even if it would just relax his guilt conscience.

* * *

><p>"Are you defending him?"<p>

Morgana looked up at the window then back to Agravaine.

"Of course. I need him. Without me he would probably have no head on his shoulders."

Agravaine got up.

"I won't let this go easily. You are breaking a good alliance."

Morgana looked up at him.

"An alliance with you was a mistake. I should have known that your reputation would get the better of you. I just needed someone who would be close to my dear brother. Now as I have his manservant, everything will go smoothly."

She smiled up at him.

Agravaine nodded before leaving.

Mordred would have to do a better job than him.


	25. Southrons

_This chapter follows the storyline of the hunters heart so I own very little here_

* * *

><p><strong>Southrons<strong>

Gwen was playing with her engagement ring as she hears the village turn into chaos.

She ducks behind the closest wall but she knows she won't be safe there for long. This was the fifth raid since she had been here. The village had little left to give over to them.

She runs off but is caught by one of them.

Gwen tries backing up to get away from him but falls backwards.

The soldier lifts his sword up to strike her.

Gwen starts thinking about everything and hope that Arthur would forgive her eventually.

"Wait" The man said.

Gwen looked up and then regretted it. She recoils as he lent over her.

He smiled. "There's still some pleasure to be had here."

* * *

><p>Arthur faced the court. His mind was still heavy with where Merlin was but that had to be put to the back of his mind for now.<p>

"My lords, fellow Knights, gentlemen...as you are all aware, Camelot's claim to the lands of Gedref has long been in dispute. Today I can announce that, after many months of confidential negotiations, the kingdoms of Nemeth and Camelot have reached an agreement."

He watched as the Lords started to murmur.

He wished that Merlin was here as with Gwen gone, Merlin was the only one who could give him some confidence.

"There's nothing to fear. It is a fair and honourable agreement that benefits two great kingdoms. Furthermore, our friendship will be cemented by a union that cannot be broken. My hand in marriage to Her Royal Highness, Princess Mithian."

The court started to applaud after dome more murmuring.

Arthur turned his gaze to Gaius, hoping to see Merlin standing there.

Arthur was surprised to see Gaius slightly slack jawed. After Gaius noticed Arthur, he put on a fake smile and started to clap.

Arthur needed Merlin back.

Gaius followed Arthur as he returned to his chambers.

"Milord when was this decided?"

Arthur turned to the old man. "A while ago. Look Gaius it's the right thing to do."

"Sire please, you can't do this."

"I can, I need to Gaius."

Gaius knew he was getting nowhere.

"Arthur, surely it's a little bit …"

"A bit what?" Arthur said turning back around. "come Gaius spit it out."

"Well soon. You have only just …"

Arthur turned round again and sighs. "I know but I need to make Camelot a strong kingdom and if that means going against what my heart says then I must. Anyway she is gone. She only has herself to blame. There is no future between us now."

Gaius watches Arthur go. Merlin needed to come back sooner rather than later.

* * *

><p>Mordred enters the hovel to meet just Morgana.<p>

"Where's Merlin?"

Morgana looked up at Mordred. "He is collecting wood and herbs. I should put his skills to some use while he is here."

Morgana smiled. "Have you got the plans?"

"Not yet. There have been unexpected developments."

Morgana dragged her hand through her hair.

Mordred carried. "There will be other opportunities in the future. Hopefully the near future."

"Camelot grows in power every day. If we don't act now, there will be no future for us."

"Morgana, it isn't as easy as you may think. Plans for the siege tunnels are very well protected."

"And you are now the closet to Arthur." Morgana stood in front of Mordred. "I need them please Mordred."

Mordred thought and about it and nodded. "I will get them, myself."

* * *

><p>"I was not mistaken." The man said. "The filth of the pigsty cannot disguise true beauty."<p>

He bowed to Gwen.

Gwen didn't know whether she should feel some gratitude for that. He made her feel like she was back at Camelot with Arthur.

"Helios. I'm only sorry we had to meet under such circumstances." The man said.

Gwen curtsied. She didn't want to because she had to remind herself that she wasn't in Camelot with Arthur. This man, Helios, was dangerous.

"Guinevere. I suppose I must thank you for my life. The villagers were not so lucky."

Helios chuckled. "These are difficult times, I need new recruits. The youth of today are not always...enthusiastic. Who are you? From what family do you come?"

Gwen looked at the floor. "I am no one."

Helios looked like he was going to argue but didn't. "No matter. I'm not concerned with where a person comes from, only with what they can become. Would you do me the honour of dining with me?"

Gwen put on a fake smile and follows him.

* * *

><p>Gwen finishes tell Helios her fake story when a servant enters.<p>

"I said we were not to be disturbed."

The servant tried not to look nervous.

"I am sorry my lord but the Lady Morgana is here and requests an audience."

Helios looked thoughtful for a moment. "Make her welcomed. I will see her right away."

"You don't mind if someone joins us?" Helios said

Gwen tried to hide her anxiety. "I had thought we'd be alone."

Helios opened his mouth to speak.

"I am sorry it has been a long day. I should retire." Gwen said getting up and leaving.

Gwen passed Morgana without being noticed but cannot help but stare at the person that is with her.

He also stops and stares at her.

"Merlin, is everything okay?" Morgana said.

Merlin shakes his head. "Yes of course."

He just thought he saw Gwen.

Helios looked a little annoyed when Merlin entered the room.

"Do you have the plans?" He said not taking his eyes of Merlin.

"Not yet."

That made him move his eyes to Morgana.

"That was our agreement, Morgana. Without them, any attack on Camelot would be suicidal …"

Morgana quickly butted in. "Well, I hear your force is not yet up to strength."

"Are you doubting me?" Helios questioned.

"No more than you me."

Merlin didn't like this. Helios was trying to charm her.

"I am sure we understand each other perfectly."

Morgana turns to Merlin. "We must get back."

Merlin nods.

"Take care not to get too distracted, Helios. There's still much to do. Once I'm crowned queen of Camelot, you may indulge yourself all you wish." Morgana said smiling at Helios.

* * *

><p>Mordred gives Morgana the siege maps but keeps his eyes on Merlin.<p>

"The siege maps, copied onto parchment so no one knew they were missing. Quite easy as Arthur is occupied elsewhere."

Merlin stood up.

"Occupied?"

"He had Princess Mithian from Nemeth in his company. He wishes to marry her."

Merlin shock his head.

Morgana just smiled. "You've done well Mordred."

* * *

><p>Arthur walks with Mithian.<p>

He had enjoyed their few days together and with Merlin out of the way, their time has been pleasant.

"I'm afraid the Festival of Istara will soon be upon us." Arthur said. "It's a tradition in Camelot to have a hunt that day, but Mer… George can arrange a tour of the city for you."

Mithian looked up at him. "A tour?"

"Some of the buildings …"

"Arthur I love hunting." Mithian said stopping him.

Arthur turned to look at her. "Really?"

"Really." She said smiling.

_Maybe I have found the one. _Arthur thought.

* * *

><p>Morgana passes the map to Helios and watches as he opens it.<p>

"Where did you get this?"

"I have my sources."

Helios looked up at her.

"I need more than that."

Morgana turned to Merlin. "I have the king's manservant, Merlin but I also have his squire Mordred. They can be very useful due to them being so close to the King. I use to have the king's uncle but he wasn't as useful as I first thought."

Helois smiled. "I will send word the moment our forces are at full strength."

A rock hits the ground.

"Someone's listening."

Helios goes straight to Gwen's room.

Morgana becomes suspicious when she sees a red servant's dress.

"Gwen." Merlin whispered.

Morgana looked at Merlin.

"I will go after her." He said turning to leave.

"But she knows Merlin."

"I will deal with it." He said over his shoulder.

* * *

><p>Merlin watched Gwen as she slept.<p>

She has run so far without being followed that she thought she was safe.

She woke up to see Merlin sitting opposite her.

"What are you doing here?" What are you doing with her?" Gwen said to him confused.

"I am not taking you back to Morgana. Don't be afraid Gwen, I am still me."

Gwen shock her head. "You are working with her."

"Yes because I am bound to her until death because of the fomorroh. Gwen I am sorry for everything I have done. You must believe me. I didn't want to do it. But I am happy it has happened. She loves me Gwen. You must understand what it is like to love someone so much it hurts."

Gwen nodded.

"If it makes it any better, she enchanted the bracelet that Lancelot gave you so you would feel for him. I hope with that you and Arthur may have some sort of life together."

"He will be heartbroken by your betrayal Merlin."

Merlin nodded. "I know."


	26. Return

**Return**

Merlin enters the hovel.

"Did you catch up with her?"

Merlin smiled. "Yes but she won't be a problem. She knows that she would never be able to go back to Camelot and Arthur would never believe her."

Morgana nodded.

"But I do have to go back." Merlin said sitting down next to her. "He will get more suspicious and it will lead to Agravaine using it to get me away from him and you."

Morgana turned so she was looking at him. "I know."

Merlin kissed her before leaving.

* * *

><p>Arthur had just seen Mithian off when Merlin walked through the gates.<p>

Arthur left his post. "MERLIN, where in god's name have you been?"

Merlin had thought about an excuse ever since he left the hovel.

"A man from Ealdor found me in the woods saying that my mother was in trouble. There was no time to send word to you or go back. I am sorry."

Arthur hesitated before placing his hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I should have thought that you wouldn't have left without good reason."

Merlin smiled. "She is fine now."

Arthur nodded. "Good to here. Now you have to clean out the stables, clean my room, do my washing, polish my armour …" He said starting to walk off.

Merlin ran to catch up with him. "Who was that leaving?"

Arthur turned to look behind him.

"Princess Mithian of Nemeth. We discussed a treaty and I was planning of marrying her but I couldn't go through with it in the end."

Merlin just nodded as he followed.

"Where was I? Oh yes, sharpen my sword …"

* * *

><p>Merlin weirdly enjoyed being back in Camelot.<p>

Even though he knew that people were still watching over him, he couldn't help but think he was back.

But he knew he wasn't.

The poison was now almost in fully control and there was no way that he was going to get back.

He still believed in Arthur but he couldn't see the future he hoped for with Arthur on the throne. Arthur was scared of magic because of his father and it would be hard to change due to the reputation that the magic community had.

Yet Arthur could see past that and free the druids from the ongoing purge.

Everything was happening so quickly that Merlin couldn't really keep up.

Seeing Gwen again was good and Merlin was pleased he had a chance to explain himself to someone that would understand.

But he had made his friends life a misery.

Merlin dragged his hand over his face.

Every thought he had managed to bring a round another thought that would contradict it.

Merlin was sick of this. He was sick of hiding.

All these years of protecting Arthur was going to come to nothing now.

Morgana is going to take the throne of Camelot and she will bring back magic before anyone will know it.

He would have to bring out her kind nature as Merlin didn't want a repeat of last time with innocent people being slaughtered. It wasn't their fault the purge happened. It wasn't their fault that Uther was on the throne.

But Uther is dead, who is there that can take the punishment for his crimes.

Merlin always hoped he could have confronted Uther about his magic and what he did to his father but there was never the right time.

If Uther had lived for longer, maybe.

Yet maybe he could have died sooner. Arthur was ready for the throne years ago.

Maybe not when Merlin first arrived but in the couple of years that followed.

_Arthur is a fair and just king. There is no question about it. _

_The big question is would he go against his father's ideology that magic is evil? Would I be able to should Arthur that magic can be used for good._

A knock at the door brought Merlin from his thoughts.

Gaius put his head around the door.

"I have to give it to you, your lying skills have got better."

"I have learnt a lot while being here Gaius. Lying being the biggest one. I never stop lying. I lied Uther, I lied to Morgana, I lie to Gwen, I lie to Arthur, I lie to you." Merlin laughed. "I even lie to myself."

"Merlin …" Gaius started.

"And I tell you who has told me the biggest lie? That giant lizard that told me that magic would return, that Arthur would bring about the golden age of Camelot and magic will be returned to the land." Merlin shook his head.

"Merlin, give him time."

"I have. I have waited all these years for his ideas on magic to change. I was so happy when they did. But I had to change them back because I couldn't allow him to kill him own father."

"But he has set free the druids."

Merlin looked at Gaius. "The druids are peaceful people. They wouldn't want to start anything. It's the rest of the magically community that want to get revenge on Uther but yet they can't anymore because he is dead. He has many debts to repay."

"When have you thought this?"

Merlin took the wooden carving. "I have his to thank slightly. My mother and father wouldn't have got together without Uther. But I wished I had known him for longer. Arthur has grown up with his father, why couldn't I?"

"But you must remember Arthur hasn't his mother?" Gaius tried to argue.

"I thought about that. But that is only what made Arthur arrogant. He had no one to show him a softer side to everything."

Gaius left Merlin.

Gaius had hoped that he would be able to find the boy who entered his chambers once more but he was just looking at a shell.

* * *

><p>Mordred entered Agravaine's chambers.<p>

"I must admit, his lie was a good one." Mordred said helping himself to some wine.

Agravaine stared at the fire. "It was very good. But it means that we must try harder. We need to get him into the flames."

Mordred smiled. "We need to have Arthur spot them together."

Agravaine looked at Mordred and smirked. "Why did we think of something like that sooner?"


	27. Hero

**Hero**

Merlin smiled.

Arthur had been in a good mood and had given him the day off.

Merlin believed this to be weird but he wasn't going to waste it.

Merlin's thoughts went to the woman in the woods.

It was another chance to have a day with her. Go searching for herbs for Gaius but spend the whole day with her.

"Do you need me to get anything Gaius?"

Gaius looked up from his bench. "I don't like how you can change moods so quickly."

"Gaius I can still be in control. I am still me after all."

Gaius nodded. "Doesn't Arthur need you?"

"He has given me the day off."

Gaius nodded again.

"I need some Lavender but that's it."

Merlin grabbed his herb bag and turned to leave.

"Merlin, even if I don't like the man you have turned into, I still don't want to see your head off your shoulders. Please be careful. Agravaine may be planning something."

Merlin smiled and nodded. "I am always careful."

Gaius shook his head as Merlin left.

* * *

><p>Morgana was surprised to see Merlin at her door.<p>

"And what do I owe the pleasure? Has my brother died a unexpected death and the people in Camelot asking for me to be queen?"

Merlin laughed. "Unfortunately not, but your brother was in a good mood and has given me the day off."

Morgana went wide eyed. "Really?"

"Yep." Merlin said popping the p. "And I want to spend my day with you."

Morgana shook her head.

* * *

><p>Merlin took her somewhere different this time.<p>

It was a meadow, just outside of the forest.

There was not a tree to be seen for miles.

Wild flowers grew and it was unspoilt.

"How do you find the most beautiful spots?" Morgana said in awe.

"Collecting herbs for Gaius brings me to weird and wonderful places. This is just one of them. Lavender grows nearby and I need to get some. But I remembered about this place on my travels."

"Have you been around all the lands of Camelot in search for herbs?" Morgana said looking up at him.

"Probably. Let's eat shall we."

Merlin laid down the blanket and started to arrange the food that he had brought from the kitchens.

"Merlin, this is really too much." Morgana said as she sat down on the blanket.

He looked up at her smiling. "You should get use to eating properly again. You will soon be Queen of the most powerful kingdom. I need you to look the part."

Morgana couldn't help but match his smile.

* * *

><p>Mordred watched them as they conversed and eat.<p>

He would have to get back to Camelot soon so that he could bring Arthur.

The first part of the plan had gone down very well and it didn't take much convincing to get Arthur to give Merlin the day off.

Merlin had walked into their plan.

Mordred turned his horse around and spurred it onto Camelot.

* * *

><p>"Milord?" Mordred said as he found Arthur with his uncle.<p>

"What is it Mordred?"

Mordred panted. "There's … trouble … on … the … border, … near the … valley … of the … fallen kings."

Arthur looked at Mordred.

"Come on show me then." Arthur started walking down the corridor. "GEORGE, GET MY HORSE READY!"

Mordred controlled his breathing. "Everything is going to plan at the moment."

Agravaine nodded. "If we cannot make her see reason to leave Merlin, then we will tear them apart with their execution."

Mordred nodded before running to catch up with Arthur.

They needed this. Yet Morgana would never be able to become queen this way. Morgana would die too.

Mordred started to question Agravaine's motives.

* * *

><p>Morgana enjoyed this.<p>

She felt free in the meadow, laying the grass, her head on Merlin's front.

She hoped this same feeling would come when she was queen and magic was free once more.

"Merlin, have you ever thought what it would be like if magic was free?"

Merlin smiled. "If magic was free, I could be myself. I wouldn't have to hide. It would be a lot safer and you wouldn't be the person that you are."

Morgana turned her head so she was looking at Merlin. "You have thought about it a lot."

"Don't you?"

Morgana turned her head back. "Not really. Maybe it's because I haven't known my powers as long as you."

"What did you use to dream about?"

Morgana smiled. "My father. I use to think of what would happen if he hadn't died and I was still with him."

Merlin sat up making Morgana's head dropping into his lap.

Merlin brought his finger up to his lips.

Merlin got up, leaving Morgana lying in the grass.

"Merlin?" Arthur said.

Morgana lied still in the grass. She hoped that it would be long enough to hide her.

"Arthur what are you doing here?" Merlin said.

Arthur turned to Mordred. "I heard there was trouble here."

Mordred could just see Morgana in the grass.

"Nope, no trouble here. I was sent to get some Lavender and decided to remain here on my day off."

Arthur noticed the blankets.

"We better leave Mordred. Looks like he has finally got himself a girl."

Mordred shook his head as Arthur turned around.

Merlin smirked at Mordred.

"_Well well Mordred, you seem to be working on the wrong team."_ Merlin sent Mordred.

Mordred turned following his king.

* * *

><p>Morgana looked at Mordred.<p>

"What has he offered you Mordred? Why would you betray me?"

Mordred looked up at her. "Everything is wrong. Destiny has cut one path and we are in the forest cutting another. It isn't meant to be this way."

Morgana sat on the side of her table. "Mordred, maybe this is a good thing. Maybe Arthur wasn't as forgiving as we all thought he was. Maybe he could never get over his father's teachings. He has been taught that magic is evil since the cot."

"But this changes everything."

Morgana didn't want to argue with Mordred. "What has he offered you?"

"Nothing really. He has promised that he would help me get destiny back on track."

Morgana smiled. "We may all be pawns of destiny but even she cannot have everything go her way."

Mordred nodded and go up.

"Morgana, Merlin isn't meant to help you to glory. I am. I have dreamt of the moment I help you to the throne. I have been told that I was meant to help you since I was born."

Mordred stepped towards her.

"I wouldn't want it to be any other way."

Morgana tried not to look confused.

"I can give you so much more than he can. He was the one that betrayed you, he was the one that never told you who he was, he is the reason why you constantly fail at your goal."

"I understand that but now he is on my side. There is no one to stop us now."

Mordred looked at Morgana.

"You cannot even see what he is doing to you."

Morgana stood up. "He has done nothing to me."

Mordred turned around. Merlin wasn't here and he only had one chance. Agravaine had tried to talk him out of doing this but it had to be done.

Mordred turned back around and advanced on Morgana, placed his lips on hers.

Morgana struggled to push him away and felt Mordred be dragged away from her.

Mordred looked shocked.

"I think you better leave and not return." Merlin said calmly.

Mordred turned to see the door open.

"You were spying on us."

Merlin turned to Morgana and she nodded.

"After what happened today we knew you were going to try something. I never thought you would do something like that."

Morgana stepped forward. "Mordred, I treat you like a son because that is what you are to me."

Mordred stared at Merlin.

"This is not over Emrys. I told you once before and I will tell you again. I shall never forgive this, Emrys. And I shall never forget."

Mordred turned and left.

Merlin turned to Morgana once more.

"I didn't want to do that." Merlin said.

"Nor did I. We have lost a strong ally." Morgana said sitting down in front of the fire.

Merlin turned to the open door and closed it with his magic.

"Perhaps but now Agravaine has lost another one too."

He sat down next to her.

Morgana swallowed. "I never realised you were this protective over me."

_Only I can love you _went around Merlin's head.

Merlin just smiled.

Morgana went to kiss him but he pulled back.

"I am sorry milady." He said. "I have over stepped the line. You are my mistress and I am here to serve you."

Merlin looked at the door.

"I must leave." He said quickly leaving.

Morgana watched him in confusion.


	28. Winning

_There are a lot of spells that I have used an old English translator for and translations for these are at the end._

_Any other spells are from the Merlin wiki page and have featured in the show._

_Basically I down own anything._

_Also this may or may not be the last chapter in Merlin's head. I am still debating of putting a section in the last chapter or not._

_Any ideas?_

* * *

><p><strong>Winning<strong>

Merlin felt the poison return.

Yet this time it felt different.

There seemed to be a great shift in power.

The forest got darker.

Merlin stood his ground and hoped that the poison would find him.

He turned as he felt something on the back of his neck. The darkness made everything seem worse.

"_You're too late" _echoed around the area. "_The darkness has taken over."_

Merlin noticed as the darkness seemed to become darker.

"Leóma*." Merlin said.

The darkness still rolled in like a wave.

"Glæm!**" Merlin shouted taking a step back.

"_I would run."_

Merlin didn't need to be told twice and he ran with everything he had.

In his mind he was flipping through all the pages of the magic book Gaius had given him for an answer. A way to stop this darkness.

The power Merlin had due to magic and his charisma made him dangerous.

But thinking about it, he could have become the evil one.

He was the same as Morgana and it would have only taken one person to influence him when he was younger and inexperienced to change his course of destiny.

Yet he has had the help that morgana never did.

He made morgana the person she is because he didn't tell her his secret when it mattered most.

Merlin stopped as the path in front of him had disappeared.

"Go on Emrys. Become the darkness you have always feared of." Echoed around the area.

Merlin pit his hand out and felt it.

It felt thick, like he was putting his hand into tar.

Thoughts went around his head making him retract his hand quickly.

"Come on Emrys. We know that the darkness always overcomes the light."

An image appeared in front of Merlin.

"Don't they look happy?" The voice said.

Merlin watched as the four people chatted, laughing on occasions.

Merlin could swear that he recognised at least three of them.

"You do Emrys. This is before your birth, before the great purge. This is Uther, Ygraine, Vivienne and Gorlois. Before the heartbreak and the affair."

Merlin couldn't help but note how much Morgana looked like her mother.

"See the evil heart that overtook Uther."

Merlin looked over at Uther. He looked younger and in better shape. Not looking so tired.

"Heartbreak and greif can do funny things to people." Merlin can out with.

"It does." The voice said.

The image changed to the night that Freya died.

Merlin looked at it with sad eyes.

"She didn't deserve what happened to her." Merlin stated.

The image changed to the night she was cursed.

"No she didn't. Sweet girl, but life isn't always fair now, is it?"

Merlin just shook his head.

"Was it fair to break up Arthur and Gwen?" The voice asked.

Merlin looked down. "No it wasn't."

"Yet you allowed it to happen?"

Merlin turned around. "What was i meant to do? What do you want me to say?"

The voice didn't seem like it was going to reply.

Merlin thought hard about what he was going to do.

"Nothing. You are going to do what you have always been told to do, nothing. Say nothing, do nothing. Because i have won."

With that the little area Merlin was in was surrounded by the thick darkness.

Merlin could do nothing and had little idea of how he was going to get himself out of this one.

Then he had an idea.

The light can overcome the darkness. The love over the hate.

Merlin thought of all the times he was happy and loved.

When Will found out about his magic, when he firstly arrived in Camelot, when he met Gwen, when he saved Arthur's life, when he and Morgana looked after Mordred, when they all went to save Ealdor, saving Ealdor, seeing Arthur alive after the questing beast, when Morgana found out about her magic, Arthur accepting his feelings for Gwen, Arthur turning to the man he hoped he would, freeing Freya, finding his father, finding Morgana, saving Elyan, saving Camelot, seeing Arthur being crowned king, finally revealling his magic and feelings to Morgana, the kiss.

Merlin opened his eyes and roared "Dimnes.***"

Merlin's eyes went pure gold and the area turned from pitch black to a blinding white.

When everything had settled down, Merlin was face to face with the poison.

"One last show down." The poison said smirking.

Merlin didn't waste any time.

"Ic pé wipdrífe."

The poison dodged it before calling out another spell.

Merlin had little idea where he had learnt some of these spells from.

The poison stopped like he was evaluating something.

"Forbærne! Ácwele."

Merlin watched as this massive fire ball headed his way.

"Ædre.****" Merlin said, sending out a jet of water.

The water hissed as it hit the fire ball and managed to extinguish it.

Merlin didn't mess around and fell of he was kneeling on one knee, slamming his hand into the floor. "Ic pe bebiede pæt pu abifest nu."

The earth shook, taking down the poison.

Their fight was cut short by a wave of power.

They both ran as fast as they could.

Merlin knew it would make little difference if he got this one.

"I have already won. This is over, Emrys. Why don't you just give up?"

Merlin smiled. "It's not over yet."

He ran into the light before the poison.

The poison stared blankly at the space. He couldn't believe that he had lost.

But it didn't matter.

"Oh Emrys, you think that it may not be over but it is."

The darkness rolled over the poison.

"Your mind is full of darkness, you will not be able to do as you had hoped. Yes you may only be able to love Morgana but it isn't meant to be. You will be dead by the end of this. And don't worry I will make sure of it." The voice said.

* * *

><p>* Light<p>

** A brilliant light

*** A want of light

**** channel for water


	29. Dead

_Why is it when I don't have any work to do I have writers block but when my exams come I can write massives like this chapter__?_

_Anyway, this is the __penultimate chapter._

_Reply to reviews__:_

_ProcrastinationIsMyCrime: thanks for the reviews. Don't think i have had anybody review every chapter just before the end. I am glad you have liked my take on it. Jealous Agravaine was an important aspect of my story as it led to the break down of their alliance. I like to put translations in when i have 'made up' the spell. Most of the spells are usually from Merlin wiki as they have been used in the show. Gaius may have lost his foster son but maybe that view will change next chapter. As for Freya, she is seen as one of the good guys so wouldn't like Morgana. Also she could believe she was losing Merlin's love. I am glad you liked the fighting. its how i would imagine the magic to have been like._

* * *

><p><strong>Dead<strong>

Merlin smiles as he pours Arthur's drink.

Tonight was the night that everything was going to change.

All the planning had come down to one moment.

Merlin had earlier knocked out the guards by the siege tunnels and sent a signal to the troops.

It seemed like everyone was in position.

Merlin just needed to wait for the signal from Morgana.

* * *

><p>Morgana waited patiently.<p>

Merlin told her that he would give the signal that the siege tunnels were clear then wait for an hour, plenty of time for the feast to get underway.

Morgana could see that Merlin's talents were being wasted and made a pact to herself to always make use of Merlin. Even for a servant he was very observant and being his status and character, he can get the people's views.

A few soldiers had been sent a while ago, reaching the city after that hour. Just to make sure that they can get through the gates no problem.

Morgana watched as flames lit up part of the wall.

She turned to Helios. "It's time."

* * *

><p>Merlin saw the flames.<p>

_It's time._ He thought.

It took a few moments for one of the knights on patrol to enter from when Merlin saw the flames.

"Sire! We're under attack! They're within the city walls!" Gwaine shouted.

Arthur stood and took his cloak off.

"Merlin, get everyone to the inner chamber."

Merlin nodded and shouted "Everyone follow me!"

Merlin watched as Arthur jumps over the table.

"Gwaine, secure the armory! Percival, with me!"

* * *

><p>Merlin watched as the wounded came in.<p>

He sighed. "There I something I must do." He said leaving Gaius.

Gaius watched him. "This is your doing."

Merlin turned and smiled but said nothing and left.

Gaius was left confused by his attitude.

* * *

><p>Merlin found Arthur and the knights in one of the corridors on the other side of the castle.<p>

"Are you alright?" He asks as he sees Arthur clutching his side.

Arthur puts on a fake smile. "Never better."

Arthur leads them out on the courtyard but stops before they reach it.

Arthur watched as Morgana leads the army towards the hall.

Morgana turned and looked their way.

Merlin caught her eye and nodded.

She turned back and smiles.

"She just looked at us." Arthur said. "But she did nothing."

Merlin grabs Arthur's arm.

"Well let's go now before she does do something."

Merlin led them down into the dungeon.

He turned a corner and was surprised to see Gwen there.

Arthur is gobsmacked.

"Gwen?" He said in disbelief walking towards her.

Gwen grabbed Arthur pulling him towards her. "Arthur, Merlin is helping Morgana."

Everyone else had moved when Arthur moved except for Merlin. They all turned to see him smiling.

"If you take the same way Gwen came in, you can save yourselves. I don't want to be responsible for your death but she will kill you if you are still in Camelot. Arthur, I ask you this once, please just run away and forget about Camelot."

Arthur couldn't take everything in at the moment.

"IS this true Merlin?" He asked.

Merlin looked at each of them except for Arthur. Out of them, he knew that his betrayal would hit Arthur the hardest.

"Yes."

Arthur's face fell. "Why?"

"I didn't want to." Merlin replied.

"TELL ME WHY? Tell me why you would choose my sister over me?!" Arthur shouted.

Gwen held onto his arm so that he wouldn't move.

"Because of the fomorroh."

Arthur stopped. "The what?"

"The fomorroh. She put it in me to try and kill you. Someone who is with you all the time could make the perfect assassin, yet you know me, I cannot do anything properly. It released some poison which has reacted with my magic to make me her personal slave."

"You tried to kill me." Arthur said.

Merlin dragged his and over his face. "Out of all of that you picked up that I tried to kill you."

"No, I also picked out that you are her personal slave."

"Magic." Gwaine coughed.

Arthur turned to him.

"He said it reacted with his magic."

Arthur looked at him with disgust. "Merlin doesn't have magic. Do you Merlin?"

He turned to see Merlin's eyes gold and a fire dancing on his palm.

"But you can't."

Merlin closed his palm and his eyes when back to blue. "I was born with it Arthur. I know the fears that Morgana faced. I know the fears that the druids have."

Arthur looked throughtful. "Courage, magic and strength." He whispered.

Merlin smiled. "Is it finally clicking?"

"Arthur?" Gwen said.

He turned to her. "While on my quest for the Fisher King's Trident, I met Grettir. He called me courage and said I would need magic and strength to complete my quest. It's no question that Gwaine is strength but magic … well I never really questioned it."

Merlin smiles and nods. "I have done many things to try and keep you alive. I have lost friends and family in doing so. I was told that you would bring around the golden age of Camelot and that magic would return to the land." Merlin shook his head. "That was never going to happen due to your father's teachings. Now someone who has a claim to the throne and has magic will be more inclined to change the law. I didn't want to choose her side but why are you the only one who can have love? Go and find your farm Arthur, this is Morgana's kingdom now."

Nobody said a word as nobody could believe what Merlin had just said.

"Arthur, what we going to do?" Gwaine said as shouting from the halls got closer.

"We run." Arthur said.

The knights started to move.

"Also Arthur, we enchanted Gwen. You should have some happiness."

Arthur turned to Gwen and smiled.

Merlin watched as all his friends left.

He sighed.

He was just going to leave when a soldier hit Merlin in the back of the head causing him to blackout.

* * *

><p>Merlin woke up at Morgana's feet.<p>

"I thought you were going to bring me Arthur, not be knocked out by my own men."

Merlin looked up at her and smiled. "I like being knocked out. I do it very well."

Morgana smiled and signaled to the guards to release Merlin.

Helios enters while Merlin gets up and rubs the back of his head.

"The city has fallen. Camelot is ours."

"Good." Morgana said getting up to look out the window. "But where is Arthur?"

Helios looked over at Merlin. "I thought he was dealing with him."

Morgana looked at Merlin.

"You let him go didn't you?" Helios said.

"I had him but the next time I went for him, he was gone."

Helios advanced on Merlin. "You didn't have him then. I was stupid to believe a servant could do a job like that."

Merlin could feel some familiarity with the situation he was in now.

Merlin moved so he could see Morgana.

"Let him run. If he tries to take back Camelot then let him try. We will be ready for him."

The doors of the hall opened up to show Agravaine being dragged in by two guards.

"Ah Agravaine, how good it is to see you again." Morgan said mocking him.

Agravaine was forced to his knees.

"Arthur won't give up easily. He will be back."

Morgana smiled at him. "Of course he will. But when he does, we will be ready for him." She said turning to Merlin.

* * *

><p>Morgan stood by the window of her old room.<p>

She sighed.

She had to make this reign different from her last and more importantly Uther's.

She may have taken Camelot by force but she didn't want to make it another reign of terror.

Morgana felt two hands rest on her shoulders.

"What are you thinking my queen?"

Morgana couldn't help but relax back into Merlin's embrace.

"This reign has to be different from my last."

Merlin wrapped his arms around her and lent his chin on her shoulder.

"Let's tell the people that. Say you wanted to be different from Uther, yet your last reign showed you were no different. You have learnt from your mistakes and everything will slowly change."

"I am glad you choose me in the end. Your talents will not be wasted. At one point I thought you were going to run off with Arthur and Gwen."

Merlin lifted his head up.

"You were there." He stated.

Morgana turned around in his arms. "I was going to make my presence known but you were doing such a brilliant job that it would have done little to help."

Merlin nodded.

"Merlin I am glad you let Arthur go. Yes I want him dead but I don't think I could do or even watch it. He is still my brother."

Merlin leant his forehead on hers.

"What now?"

Morgana thought it over for a while. "I think I need to speak with Camelot's people."

* * *

><p>Merlin watched as the courtyard filled up with people. He couldn't believe the number of people that have come voluntarily.<p>

His eyes moved to Morgana. For someone so confident, she seemed nervous.

"_It will be okay." _Merlin sent to her.

She turned around and smiled.

She sighed before taking a step forward, holding out her hands to silence the crowd.

"People of Camelot, once again I have used force to take over this kingdom, your home. I know that you will have fears that this reign will be a repeat of the last. Well I hope it won't. I won't keep you here but I will give you the change you have all been waiting for. As a person with magic, I, myself, have felt the fears that Uther's law brought. I was terrified that he would find out and that made me fear myself. I will lead to a new life, one were the magically community will not have to look over their shoulders anymore. It will be a time were magic can run through the lands again but be able to live with those without the gift. Because that is all that magic is, a gift. The goddess has chosen you and we must embrace it, not fear it. My council and I will put the law on magic to the top but this is me saying that once more, you are free."

Cheers came from the crowd.

"Yet if you are not happy hen you can leave. I will not keep you here as I was forced to when I was younger. Any other kingdom will accept you but I am sure your presence will be missed."

Morgana paused.

"Arthur, Gwen and any of his knights are banished unless they agree that I am queen and the rightful heir to the throne and accept my laws. This message should be spread among the people of this land. Any radical behavior will led to banishment as well."

Merlin nodded behind her. She needed to act soft towards the people but still show that she wasn't too soft.

Merlin knew that Arthur would never give up his place on the throne easily.

"I introduce my adviser Merlin. He will be my eyes and ears. Please tell him if you have any concerns."

Merlin turned to Morgana. He was not expecting that at all.

The crowd began to mumble.

"I believe that is all." Morgana said to Merlin.

Merlin just nodded and followed.

It didn't take long for Helios to catch up with them and say something.

"A servant for an adviser. I have never heard anything so stupid before." Helios said, storming down the corridor. "It's like making a commoner, a knight."

Merlin raised his eyebrows but remained silent.

"He has good advice. If anybody listened to him, I don't think we would be in the situation we are now."

It was Helios' turn to raise his eyebrows.

"Why?"

"Because I would be dead." Merlin said.

Morgana turned to Merlin.

"When the Afanc came, I healed Gwen's father. I told the whole council I had magic."

She turned back to Helios.

"Everything would be different without Merlin."

She turned and carried on walking.

"I still believe that you are making a mistake." Helios said, catching up with her and grabbing her arm.

Morgana had to turn which left her no more than an inch away from him.

"Let me go." Morgana said.

Helios started to increase the pressure of his grip when his hand was forcefully pulled away from hers.

Merlin stood in front of Morgana.

"Would you like to try that again?" He said.

Helios glared at them both.

"This is not over." He said storming off.

Merlin turned around and looked at Morgana's arm.

"No really damage. Just a couple of bruises, maybe."

Morgana looked up at him.

"I don't know why but I love how protective you are of me."

Merlin smiled at her. "I have protected Arthur, now it is my time to protect you."

Morgana kissed him on the cheek.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."


	30. Over

_Right guys, last chapter for this one._

_It starts in Merlin's head and then in Camelot for the rest of it. Time breaks are shown._

_I hope you have all enjoyed this story. I must say the last few chapters I have been writing on paper and then having to type up because I have been having ideas when I cannot access a computer._

_This has been a interesting story to write. Mainly writing the last few chapters on the day because I haven't had any inspiration beforehand. I cannot remember where I came up with the idea, must have been one of my earlier mornings at work (waking up at 4:45 am does weird things to the imagination (as seen in Roses)). _

_Thank you for everyone that has reviewed/followed/favourited. I may not say it but it is much appreciated._

_This is me signing off due to exams. My first one is on Monday so I timed it well to finish up._

_But now it is time for me to finish up this authors note and say enjoy :)_

* * *

><p><strong>Over<strong>

Merlin tried to get up but only managed to get on to his hands and knees before he doubled over in pain.

"Too weak Emrys?" The poison said coming out of the darkness, smirking down at him.

Merlin managed to get back onto to his hands and knees then leant back to kneel.

"I am still strong enough to take you on." Merlin said breathing through the pain.

The poison watched Merlin.

"There is enough poison for the both of us. Just embrace the darkness before it takes you by force. You won't be so strong then. I told you I had won.

Merlin managed to look up at him.

"What do you mean?"

The poison crouched down so he was on the same level as Merlin.

"The darkness will take you no matter how much you fight it. The poison is in your veins. There is no stopping it."

As if the darkness heard them, it started reaching out.

"Embrace the darkness Emrys. I am not a man of love but I would hate for Morgana's love to go to waste."

Merlin looked at the poison's outstrechted hand.

He didn't want to but he took it.

"Good choice Emrys." The poison said.

* * *

><p>6 months later<p>

* * *

><p>Merlin walked down the corridor, 20 soldiers behind him.<p>

He used his magic to open up the doors to the throne room.

"Ah Emrys, so glad you could have joined us?"

Merlin glared at Helios for the use of his druid name.

After Morgana had made him her adviser, she had requested for his last name so she could name him a lord. After sending letters to his mother, he found he didn't have a surname as such. Morgana believed that Lord Emrys would help the magic community believe the changes.

Merlin's eyes flicked from Helios to Morgana on her knees.

He had no guard with him must have overpowered her somehow.

"May I ask why the queen is on her knees?" Merlin said taking a step towards her.

Helios watched Merlin.

"She is being overthrown, along with you. Camelot have killed many of my men over the years and none of their blood have been split. You have been too soft on them."

Merlin believed it weird that Morgana was still alive by that but he knew that Helios would have a different motive.

"Yet was it the blacksmith that killed your men or the baker that killed our kind? No it was Uther and his knights." Merlin said helping Morgana up. "And unfortunately most of them are dead."

Helios stood taller. "What about the men I lost getting this god forbidden kingdom?"

Merlin turned to him. "You knew the risks."

"And I have got nothing for them."

Merlin tilted his head to the side. "Have you not? How many women are now pregnant due t you and your men?"

Helios stepped towards Merlin, drawing out his sword and placing it by his throat.

The 20 soldiers that followed Merlin in also drew their swords and pointed them at Helios.

"Somehow you have managed to get my own men on your side."

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." He said ignoring Helios last statement.

Morgana could feel the danger that Merlin was in and placed her arms around Merlin's middle. She didn't care who knew now. She couldn't bear to lose Merlin without holding him once last time. She placed her head on his back.

"That's why you have got what you have." Helios said looking at Morgana's hands.

Merlin placed his hands on hers.

"Does it matter how I have got what I have?"

"It does when I cannot have what I want." Helios sad getting angry.

Helios drew back his sword to strike Merlin. The soldiers step forward to attack but didn't have to when Helios feel to the floor before he could strike the warlock down.

Merlin could feel Morgana's tears on his back and turned in her arms to hold her.

"It's okay. He will never hurt you again." Merlin said nodding to the soldiers.

Morgana watched as Helios' body was dragged from the hall.

His soldiers had slowly started to come to their side after they stopped believing in their leader and they knew it wouldn't be long before he tried something.

"I will have a guard take …"

Morgana looked up at him. "I don't want a guard. Can't you?"

Merlin melted at her look. She never showed her emotions to anyone but him and the redness of her eyes just made him feel guilty. He had spent many nights holding her till she slept due to her dreams.

Merlin nodded.

"Jon, can you cancel all of my afternoon appointments? Say I have some urgent important business with the Queen."

"Of course Merlin." The boy said.

Morgana could never remember seeing him there and she swears that Merlin has taught him how to be hidden.

"You got me all afternoon." Merlin said leading Morgana back to her room.

* * *

><p>6 months later<p>

* * *

><p>"I understand where you are coming from Morgana but please."<p>

Morgana continued to stare out of the window.

She hated every time Merlin brought up this topic.

"Look he has served some sort of sentence and I know he wouldn't want to stay here. Let him go please."

Morgana sighed.

"But he has helped make this. He is one of the biggest reason this has happened. He has hid so much from the both of us."

"Exactly we wouldn't be the people we are without him. He at least deserves something for that." Merlin said standing behind Morgana.

Morgana watched Merlin's reflection in the window and gave in.

* * *

><p>Merelin stopped at the border. He remembered the first time he crossed it from Esstir to Camelot. He couldn't believe how much he had changed from that naïve boy.<p>

"You will be okay from here." Merlin said turning around.

He watched Gaius as he looked back.

"Gaius please, take your freedom."

Gaius turned to him. "And where am I meant to go?"

"Ealdor." Merlin looked back across the border. "It's half a day in that direction. Live with mother, she will enjoy it. I know she doesn't want me to know but she is lonely without me. She will enjoy the company."

Gaius walked over the border without looking or saying anything to Merlin.

Merlin couldn't let it end this way. "Gaius?" He called out.

He waited for his old mentor to turn around before continuing.

"I am sorry for what I have done but I wouldn't want to change it. I had hoped that this would make up for it." Merlin stopped and swallowed. "It has taken me nearly a year to persuade Morgana for your freedom. At some points you weren't meant to get food, water or even medicine. Someone in my position can always persuade a few guards."

Gaius walked back to Merlin.

"I don't know how I can be but even after everything you have done, I am still very proud of you."

Merlin smiled.

"Now get back to your queen. I will explain everything to your mother for you."

"Thank you. I haven't been able to find the right words yet." Merlin said looking down at the floor.

"Goodbye Lord Emrys." Gaius said.

Merlin looked up. "Goodbye Gaius. We will meet again."

Gaius smiled as he turned around and left.

Merlin wiped his eyes. He always knew that getting Morgana to release Gaius would be hard but he didn't realize it would be so rewarding.

* * *

><p>Merlin knocked at Morgana's door.<p>

He was surprised when Morgana, herself, opened it.

"Merlin, I hope your trip was successful."

Morgana walked back to her desk leaving the door open for Merlin.

"It was." He said closing the door and revealing some wildflowers from behind his back. "In more than one way."

Morgana looked up from the papers she had just started to read and got up.

"Merlin, they are beautiful." She said taking them off of him.

She made a vase appear from thin air and placed the flowers in there.

"Is everything okay?" Merlin asked as she stared at the flowers.

Morgana turned and took his hand and led him to the table.

"The council has requested that I marry before the year has finished."

Merlin smiled. He knew that there had been talk of it but he didn't realize that they were serious.

"A strong independent woman like you doesn't need a man." Merlin said

Morgana matched Merlin's smile.

"Of course but I would like to still have a say in the matter before they start choosing for me."

Merlin continued to smile and nodded.

"I mean you would have to do it properly and ask me for my hand."

Merlin looked up at her and Morgana shook her head.

"I don't want to marry for an alliance. You should know that. I want to marry for love. I know you have said it before that all royals are mad for not doing it that way. I believe it is the only thing that Arthur and I can agree on."

Merlin leant back in his chair.

"Come on Merlin, you understand me better than anyone. How many nights have you held me because of my dreams?"

Morgana stood up in front of Merlin.

He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I haven't said no, have I? Yes, I will marry you." Merlin said smiling. "For one thing it means that we can stop tiptoeing around everywhere and secondly, I could never face to see you with another man. Not ever."

Morgana smiled at his protectiveness and leant down to kiss him.

* * *

><p>Arthur felt better as he walked the path to Ealdor.<p>

Ever since they left Camelot, they had been trying to get over the border without being seen.

This led them going from village to village on their way out.

Arthur didn't want to go to Ealdor but knew it would be the safest place.

He had little idea what he was going to say to Hunith.

Arthur had thought about what Merlin said a lot.

Arthur didn't hate Merlin, he could never do that. He was more heartbroken.

He was glad that someone was with Morgana, maybe evening helping her, but Arthur never wanted it to be Merlin.

The clumsy manservant had done something to the dethroned king and Arthur knew he would never be the same again.

Arthur wanted to share his fears with someone but he had little idea of how it would sound.

"Gaius?" Arthur heard Gwen say as they left the trees.

The old physician turned to the group.

"Sire, you are alive. I have heard terrible rumors which I hoped weren't true."

Arthur placed his hand on Gaius' shoulder.

"It's been a long year."

Arthur now noticed who Gaius was talking to.

He turned and Gaius nodded.

She knew.

Hunith turned to Arthur. "Arthur, my son … my son might not be with you but you are still welcomed to stay as long as you wish."

Arthur nodded.

"Your kindness will never be forgotten."

* * *

><p>That night everyone met around the table, save for Leon. He was making sure that nobody would tell on them.<p>

"So what now?" Gwaine asked.

Arthur looked around at everyone.

"Well it it is true what we have heard, a couple of us could say that Morgana is the true queen and go that way. The only thing is, what will she do if she finds out?"

Gwaine spoke up. "It's more Merlin I would be worried about. I don't know whether he would keep it to himself. He is quite protective of Morgana. He killed Helios because he tried to overthrow them."

"But he let us go. Maybe his loyalties will be split." Gwen suggested.

"We just cannot be sure on that." Arthur said. _I wouldn't want to do that to him._

"Yet he has campaigned for my release for a year." Gaius mentioned. "We don't need to do anything rash. It's obvious that he wants us to be safe."

"Then we are back where we started." Gwaine pointed out.

Leon bursts in before anybody else can say something.

"Just heard from someone that owns a stall in Camelot that Morgana is to marry."

Arthur put his head in his hands.

"Which powerful warlord is she marrying?" He said. _This just gets better and better._

Leon didn't know how to answer. "I would change warlord to warlock. The message gave to the people was that Lord Emrys had asked for her hand and she accepted."

All except Gaius gave Leon a blank look which caused him to continue.

"Merlin is going to be your brother-in-law and the next king of Camelot."


End file.
